Feeling like winter in Summer

God knows what is troubling that confused and sad mind...
Only god knows because she doesn't know what is bothering that usual independent girl...when typing a blog feels like the tears are stuck behind the eyes.

Feel like crying but not sure what she's crying for.

Feeling useless, feeling definately less independent, feeling like a job didn't land on her hands like it should really be, feeling moody of her mood swings...One moment smiling and one moment worth smiling, she feels the opposite. Why does she feel like a breakup with herself?

Reading self help book is perhaps a sign that life needs some rectification and correction. Its time you need a book to remind yourself to buck up, and everything is not gonna matter one year down the road, so why bother getting all stressed about it. When you need a book to remind you that "snowball" effect of thoughts is really unhealthy and wasting alot of time stressing over it...

Buck up. Just Buck Up...Everyday...It will be ok...Someday, Someday...Someday winter would be over...

Dreaming of an Italian holiday

Well well, she still prefers European holidays over Asian-never-ending-shopping holidays...

She loves watching architecture, culture, history and.....and just a little shopping will do because its nothing too unique. You can do it back home too :)

Oh well...Should apply leave soon. Tentatively would be just herself on this trip unless someone pops up to join her.

This time, unlike London and Frankfurt, she wants to spend a fruitful air ticket and get travelling around in trains, which she always fear...And visit many places...

Rome, Florence, Venice, and if possible to squeeze in Amalfi, Naples in that short 11-12 days trip...she wants to see the blue and clear waters of the Mediterranean Sea...Though Southern part of Italy like Sicily would be god damn perfect but guessed it might be alitle chilly to visit near the end of the year...Oh well, leave those pretty Medditerranean places for future honeymoon, if it ever happens. Haha, and also the lavender fields would be one place on earth worth visiting :)

Just throw me beautiful scenery on the train, bicycle or a cute little vespa scooter...She'll be a damn happy girl...and a memory to last for a long long time...

The flying chairs

She feels like she have been sitting on this flying chair for a long long time...
So long that she no longer feels the freedom, feels the wind in her hair, feels the amazing scenery.
But rather, she feels the bar holding her in the seat, feels the distance of the her flying chair to the next flying chair, feels the monotonous ride...

All that freedom and all that happiness is only so much without being able to collide and have a laugh, without being able to hold the next chair, without being able to talk to your friend flying on the next chair...

June 2010

She knows that she hasn't been updating her blog for a darn long time...

Life was busy. Series of events unfold itself..

She will remember the days on site close to Dubai World Cup in March 27, 2010 for a long time. That was the day that everyone have been working towards, whereby visions became reality. Though we had barely rested enough from the past few days of mad rush to open Meydan Grandstand, nevertheless, the pride and all..it goes without saying...

After that, the company reorganisation, the old colleagues left, and she transferred to the other company...All for the better of tomorrow, hopefully...

And now with a little wee bit of time, hopefully this blog will be updated regularly enough...

Now that all friends are thousand miles apart, and being her, friendship is something she picks and choose with great fuss. And even among new friendships formed, the people she chooses to confide in are that very few.

So now...this would be that little space where she could trash it out, speak the unspoken, speak what she thinks, without worrying if it hurt others or if the words will change a certain situation...

Let's start by uploading some nice memories before it all fades...

Few weeks before the Grand Opening of Meydan

New Home @ Burj Views

Dear Folks!!

Finally the long awaited day has arrived!! Finally I'm moving out to a place to call our own in Downtown Burj Dubai with Xueni!

Thanks dear friends who helped with the moving since dearest room mate flew back to enjoy life. Ha, I'm enjoying too!

Thanks Kenneth for your car and help with moving.

Thanks Tim and Sue for your help in cleaning.

Thanks security guard who is wayyyy better than my soon-to-be ex apartment who doesn't even give a damn to you when he sees that your hand are filled with more than what you carry and he doesn't help to push open the door.

Its more than moving to a better environment, its about having a free space to ourselves with our own breathing space, our own place to care for and maintain.

It not done up yet, but progress is as important too....

On the day I arrive to take site measurement after work

Ken's car on Thursday IKEA Shopping
The Living/Dining Area
On Friday 4th Sept...Cleaning day!!

My imagination

Typing this is the middle of the night. She knows it well that she should go to rest. The body wants to rest, but the heart wants to stay awake to do more things, aimlessly.

It is one of those days that she wished the distance wasn't so far. She wish that she could finish work and head down for an aimless walk with him. The thought of walking down the street, just enjoying the company, even if there isn't much exchange of words, is simply heartwarming.

Somehow along the way, it seems that the perfect thought of the future never really comes to happen in real life for her. Well, of course there are moments that are more than what she can ask for, but human are greedy. The next time she's not ever gonna give up her annual leave. NEVER!! Just forget about what a fool she is to have given up. Damn it.

Somedays she wish she could just break the rules a little. But knowing the other half will not approve of it, she has to be obedient. Hmm...Well well..what can I say..Costly plan to execute and she is constantly reminded to spend wisely..But you know that there's some things that money could buy for you? Or should I say, money can exchange time for you, and maybe freedom.

If only I could spend the day with you. Like I've always wanted to. Guess that's why I'm made for who I am. Thank God that I'm created to daydream and imagine alot. Daydream and Imagine at work, and imagine my own fairytale, imagine going out with you, imagine being there with you in your every step. I wish I could have it realised than just purely imagining the best picture. Thinking too much sometimes hurt you on the inside. Especially when it is very simple to accomplish, but you seem to be the one whose not that ordinary.

Darling, I remember you and I definately miss you. Another 89days, 15hours and 56 minute is very long. I do have alot of imagined-plans.

Imagined being able to attend events with you.
Imagined spending a nice short holiday here with me, sightseeing, walking aimlessly...
Imagined being able to not hide from anyone about us..(which I'm very tempted not to hide anymore..)
Imagined going back home and go on a short trip nearby with you and my dear friends.
Imagined parents who accepted my decision.
Imagined if only I am courageable enough to admit to them.

Today was one of those days she remembered walking down the riverside and crying hard yet quietly on his shoulder. Today was one of those days she missed that presence so badly.

And on the other hand, she frustrated.
Some people should just mind their own business. We have no TV here, doesn't mean that your not-so-close friends can be your "celebrity entertainment news".
She felt being "supervised/watched/talk/thought about". She feels restricted, and definately provoked to display the rebellious side of her. Yes Love, I know you will always opt to go the other way of being in your own world and doing your own things. Yes, I want to but at the same time I wish people could just not talk. Its tiring to be wary of your surroundings, to be wary of your actions and words, to be wary of offending, to be wary of every single damn thing. Even wary of being seen walking out from office. I'M NOT A KID MUMMY!! And maybe because she's got enough of being wary of her actions, that's what tempting her not to hide him from anyone.

Goodnight world. Goodnight Love. Goodnight my friends.

Another Friday morning on 14th Aug

She's been not updating for a long time. She knows its. Maybe there's less things she's complaining about, since we have to admit that blog/journals are the little passageway that provides a little comfort to life.

In summery, life's been ok.

Yes, definately awkwards moments, like lesser talking to some people and more talking to another group of people. Drifting away from some and getting closer to others. But being here for about a year,(2nd Sept 2008,I landed in this city)perhaps, she's gotten used to the often changing politics/grouping of people. Something not that nice to happen, but maybe that's life and this trip here has taught her to see the world and the mankind a little bit more. Well, like I said, every bad things that happens in your life may not be that bad afterall :)

And, she's moving out to somewhere and hopefully we can secure the place. Somewhere we can call our own. And there's something about colleagues staying together. 1 year here and its has proven to be not that ideal idea because there's no break between office and home. Guess that's what we all need a home to go back to, to meet another group of people. Ok, not that she's staying out alone but yea..at least more private. Will upload more pictures of the moving house progress...and the cleaning and the moving and the fitting out works. Haha...Will have to move alone since my dearest roommate is going back SIN.

And yea, every thursday weekend, hopefully it stays the same. Having some nice dinner after work on Thurs evening and a little chilling session...guess makes life pass a little faster and less boring..Being someone who will sit infront of the screen waiting for something to happen...it definately helps alot to bring your mind somewhere else for a little break.

And leave's approved for end november till 20th December.
So yup...will wait for Nee to transfer some photos for me before images are loaded.