Leave delayed

I've been wanting to go home since end Jan when grandpa have stroke. But I was made to stay because projects is running. Now that march has arrived and it means I can go home because leave is unfrozen, I tried to apply for April. But again pushed to May.

Not that I cannot wait to go home, its not just about me. If there was no one else to consider, I would go home in May. But not everything is just about me, right?

Besides this. Work sucks as ever. Somedays I don't even feel like fighting anymore. I still do angry when people try to be funny and try to make life difficult. Somedays I wished I could just leave. Resignation Letter is in my drawer, typed and waiting for an envelop and handed in in May. Tendering in May and end of the year, in this times...make alot of difference to my savings. But somedays I just feel like going home, but somedays, this thought that after taking in all the anger for so many months, and we've survived it, what more if I just bite on and hold for another month, and another month...and another...

Just didn't know what I've signed up for somedays. Really. At this moment, I'm actually quite disappointed, which I should be angry but there is no point in getting angry because only I will feel the hurt more than those that hurt. Seriously. Why. If only everyone can be as good as...If only I can stop comparing...Everyone is not perfect, but being not perfect is one thing. Being selfish is another. I am..so...If I can make up my mind..really. I am only working for the money so that I don't have to suffer next time when I go to school, or just to lessen my financial burden for my family..But what is this shit that I have to put up with every single living day?