Just those emo thoughts

Just a thought

These feelings have long been inactive that she thought she will never feel the same again
She thought she might have even forgotten how it all felt
She thought contentment was supposed to come in other form

Talking about being contented
Contented was supposed to be contented and be happy with what you have even though it is not perfect. Nothing's perfect. So accept the weakness, together with everything that came with it. That what what she thought.

However, somehow she might have interpreted it wrongly all these while. What she was doing might just be a forced contentment. Either that, or she is blessed with so much she can ever asked for, that she really have no other request.

Talking about those forgotten feelings and feelings she never felt
Feelings that somehow or another makes you wanna tear and tears dropping seems easier than ever before. Like that defensive wall built around her all these while is gradually opening up bit by bit, putting up the defence, at the same time, joining forces to be even stronger.

Expressions that she joked always and thought it never happened in real life. She makes fun of her mother crying because some serial drama have such a touching ending. Yes, she laughed at her and thought she was out of her mind, engrossed in a life of a fairytale. Yet, crying because she is so happy that she forgets how to express it and tears just burst out like the water that was built up in the dam, holding so strong at every difficult moment, is actually possible.

And these are actually positive energy, not necessary negative. These feelings evoke humanly touch. Remember those days where she did not feel alive at all and that this world is so filled with reality that hurts. Those were the hard times. Feeling of emptiness isn't the best feeling in the world. And well, maybe it was those times, that taught you how happiness feels like. Maybe it was those times, that taught you to be stronger than you thought you could. Those days makes you appreciate what bliss feels like and how hard it is to come by.

There's always two sides to a coin. With every bad thing that happens, think about it. You cry, you yell, you curse. Yes. Down the road, it might not be that bad afterall. And you will start thanking the awful, painful past.