Coincidentally, as she laid her work aside mentally for the day and wanted to fill another entry here informing about life and talking about going home, her manly Ipod sang
"Another summer day, has come and gone away.
In Paris and rome, but I wanna go home.
Maybe surrounded by a million people's eye
Still feel all alone, just wanna go home. Oh I miss you, you know"
Yes the above is the date she'll be coming home. A short few days. She needs to get all these done:
-Check and get all certificates and result slips certified in TP if needed
-Install Norton anti-virus before anything bad happens to the first and new laptop
-Install Photoshop
-Buy/photocopy reference books
-Visit grandpa. Yes, she fought to get her leave approved earlier. Maybe Mak spoke something to Boss and it got into him
Not to mention meeting the angels. Would like to make a trip to Marina Barrage, get some tan and exercise by biking around in Ubin...Catch a movie or two..Have a peaceful night out in Dempsey, or perhaps somewhere of equivelent...
Being apart for a period does not kill. Yes, some days you might have forgotten how it feels to have someone dear physically next to you, till a point that it takes a few minutes to get back the same feeling after meeting in real time. Yes, some days you might be even relying on photos to keep them in memory. But somehow, time makes moments feel magical, and maybe less taken granted for. And maybe even makes one a stronger individual, maybe because there is no one to offer you a shoulder to cry on anytime you demand. And some times, you are let with no choice but to put up with whatever life throws at you.
Oh yes and on 12th March marks the 2nd year she's working in the company. Tons of ups and down, especially after we relocated to this desert. And surprisingly, she have been complaining and toying with the idea of quitting the job for 10months, and counting. Maybe it is due to the economic recession, and maybe it was the drive to save up for schooling expenses in the future..
Last week had been relatively calm, this week is midway through and she hopes that the week stays relatively calm too.
-Goodnight world. Goodnight Love. Goodnight Friends.-
May peace be upon us. Literally.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Mar 11, 2009
Mar 1, 2009
If only human heart is kind
If only. If only human does not excercise the little devil in them.
I am not born to entertained nonsense.
I am not born to be as benovelent as others.
I am not born just like others who can swallow their sadness and anger.
I am not born to love everyone.
I am not born to be bullied.
I am cold hearted, but events exploded recently and I realised that no matter how evil hearted I can be, I could only speak.
Blamed it on my guts.
Blamed it on me who cannot do something without my conscience.
Blamed it on me because I hate facing people with guilt and awkwardness even when what I spoke was the truth in total anger.
Some days this anger made me feel so much like crying out and screaming at them.
But blame it on my ego and belief that tears should never roll infront of your opposition.
As much as I believed that our life cannot always be pushed around by others.
Never have I felt so pushed around by others.
Never have I controlled so much anger.
Yes. I may be not the best kind hearted people. But it seems its been an eye opening few months for me.
I've seen how selfish humans can be. Til they forgot about others, just to acheive what they want. Maybe they have even forgotten that there are humans with feelings surrounding them.
I've seen how people cared about the small things in life, they forgot to see the big picture.
I've seen how people angered get carried away, that they forgot to see the white and black in life. That they forgot that there are someone kind enough.
I've seen how people are no better than the one that they are against.
For once, somehow I felt cheated. I felt like I've misjudged everything. Misjudge everything that took time to build, yet moments to destroy. I felt I was not being smart enough. But I was never that smart. Time are to be spent worth while, not analysing all these.
It has come to a point that crack lines will always crack lines. Some word will never be said anymore. Because you are unworthy of those words.
Love, I'm not sure how you can ever me kind to others, even if others are not kind to you. I'm not sure how is that ever possible. I'm not sure how that can inspire the person to pick up traits of you. I think much less of myself. I don't expect them to be like me. All I expect is to be kind. And I cannot imagine how you can possibly pray that they will become someone better someday. I don't think I can ever be like who you are.
And this is why I love you so. Some things others will never understand.
As much as I wished people would be like you. Mak have said,: "If every men is just like the other, that makes all of them redundant."
And I would never want them to be like you. You are special, just like that.
And I don't give a damn who reads this. Yes, I might just be speaking about you for the whole wide world to see...For I believe, there is nothing to be afraid off if I have spoken the truth and done no wrong.
I am not born to entertained nonsense.
I am not born to be as benovelent as others.
I am not born just like others who can swallow their sadness and anger.
I am not born to love everyone.
I am not born to be bullied.
I am cold hearted, but events exploded recently and I realised that no matter how evil hearted I can be, I could only speak.
Blamed it on my guts.
Blamed it on me who cannot do something without my conscience.
Blamed it on me because I hate facing people with guilt and awkwardness even when what I spoke was the truth in total anger.
Some days this anger made me feel so much like crying out and screaming at them.
But blame it on my ego and belief that tears should never roll infront of your opposition.
As much as I believed that our life cannot always be pushed around by others.
Never have I felt so pushed around by others.
Never have I controlled so much anger.
Yes. I may be not the best kind hearted people. But it seems its been an eye opening few months for me.
I've seen how selfish humans can be. Til they forgot about others, just to acheive what they want. Maybe they have even forgotten that there are humans with feelings surrounding them.
I've seen how people cared about the small things in life, they forgot to see the big picture.
I've seen how people angered get carried away, that they forgot to see the white and black in life. That they forgot that there are someone kind enough.
I've seen how people are no better than the one that they are against.
For once, somehow I felt cheated. I felt like I've misjudged everything. Misjudge everything that took time to build, yet moments to destroy. I felt I was not being smart enough. But I was never that smart. Time are to be spent worth while, not analysing all these.
It has come to a point that crack lines will always crack lines. Some word will never be said anymore. Because you are unworthy of those words.
Love, I'm not sure how you can ever me kind to others, even if others are not kind to you. I'm not sure how is that ever possible. I'm not sure how that can inspire the person to pick up traits of you. I think much less of myself. I don't expect them to be like me. All I expect is to be kind. And I cannot imagine how you can possibly pray that they will become someone better someday. I don't think I can ever be like who you are.
And this is why I love you so. Some things others will never understand.
As much as I wished people would be like you. Mak have said,: "If every men is just like the other, that makes all of them redundant."
And I would never want them to be like you. You are special, just like that.
And I don't give a damn who reads this. Yes, I might just be speaking about you for the whole wide world to see...For I believe, there is nothing to be afraid off if I have spoken the truth and done no wrong.
Nov 23, 2008
17 more days to Singapore
Found that she's been doing alot of counting down this year. And probably more so for the next 1 year. For it is for the better, happier moments.
Singapore is now like the HOLIDAY DESTINATION. Its always human. The closer you are to somewhere ideal in your dreams, its always not the place that you end up visiting. She's close to Turkey, Greece, Athen..and even long haul flights is now only 6 to 7 hours away..London, Europe..But it seems Singapore is still much better..Maybe it all matters is where people are.
Workplace has been a evil place to be. In fact, it feels like Bollywood. She hasn't been watching TV for 3 mths soon, yet there's always drama going on..and some case, stupid idoitic drama that..Well..Tired to say...And thank god there are nice people around. But yes..this place sucks.Have not been anywhere as sucky as this can get. Days can get real bitchy and...yes its very fucked up place.
But she's taking Syafiq's advice to create a "own environment". Its comparable to working in your little own air bubble and be somehow cut out from the rest of the shit that is floating around. Somedays it just make you feel like squeezing and shouting at somebody. Anyway..I will still try to be positive and I'll still be back here...For the sake of herself really. For the better, brighter and happier future.
And for the moment..she is very thankful to all the special ones that makes her inner soul feels so much better. If not some days really feels like shit..
Singapore is now like the HOLIDAY DESTINATION. Its always human. The closer you are to somewhere ideal in your dreams, its always not the place that you end up visiting. She's close to Turkey, Greece, Athen..and even long haul flights is now only 6 to 7 hours away..London, Europe..But it seems Singapore is still much better..Maybe it all matters is where people are.
Workplace has been a evil place to be. In fact, it feels like Bollywood. She hasn't been watching TV for 3 mths soon, yet there's always drama going on..and some case, stupid idoitic drama that..Well..Tired to say...And thank god there are nice people around. But yes..this place sucks.Have not been anywhere as sucky as this can get. Days can get real bitchy and...yes its very fucked up place.
But she's taking Syafiq's advice to create a "own environment". Its comparable to working in your little own air bubble and be somehow cut out from the rest of the shit that is floating around. Somedays it just make you feel like squeezing and shouting at somebody. Anyway..I will still try to be positive and I'll still be back here...For the sake of herself really. For the better, brighter and happier future.
And for the moment..she is very thankful to all the special ones that makes her inner soul feels so much better. If not some days really feels like shit..
Sep 13, 2008
Saturday here.
Working on Saturday. As Friday is the "weekend" here. Still have not gotten used to having Friday as the "weekend". It kinda make me feel so disorientated. Especially when you need to connect yourself back to Singapore. Trying to count the hours in Singapore is bad enough, though I'm getting better at it. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. And not trying to oriented yourself with Singapore in the sense of working days...hmm..
Was doing nothing yesterday on Friday. Was lying in bed and as what Kenneth says, "sardine in the sun", and chatting. Well been a long time since I completely did nothing. No internet. If you have not realise how internet keep us entertained..wohoo. We a TV which was as good as not having because there's only 3 arabic channel and we can't be bothered to set it up as we'll be moving soon. And I brought my ipod charger but no ipod. If I can be alittle more careful. How stupid.
So besides shopping til 1am in Mall of Emirates(MOE) which we have been doing for the past 2 "weekends"-Thursday Night..and yes, over here, shopping centre opens til late 12am or 1 am every weekend. Manz, Singapore should make life easier for us.Trying to remember when cab surcharge is hard enough and the different rate of ERP at different time of the day. You still have to try to remember when and which malls open late on which night. Anyway..Drivers will love it here. Once you pass through 1 "ERP" here, which they call it SALIK, those that you pass down the same road, you don't have to pay anymore.
Next post I shall comment on Camel racing here.
Updating some pics up!
Lily,Lesha,Jane,Xueni,Ivan,Kenneth,Derrick,Syafiq,Aileen,Alan
Aug 4, 2008
Dubai
Heading for Dubai tommorow for a recce trip and will be back on Friday morning.
Everything happen so fast today and she's only informed 24hr before she is due to fly.
The collaboration with another design firm is on so..yeah
On one hand she is considering her job prospect, while on another she wanna give it another try. Dubai sounds good opportunity to come, especially she is still considerably young. School will come. One day. And when that day come, she really hope her time spent in Dubai working, is worthy enough to be in the portfolio, featuring design intention and concepts.
She is trying hard to digest the work aspect of things, while trying to balance out her feelings.
She hopes her colleagues will follow too. They are all young and she hope they give Dubai a chance, and give themselves a chance to see this part of the world where 25% of cranes are in right now.
She, on another hand is very thankful and touched to all those close one who supported her and tell her to go for it unselfishly, and family being happy for her. She's starting to miss her friends and wonder how is life when each of them are so far away. Well being away for 3-4 months might not be a long time, given that Shanghai was crazily fun. Anyway she will be station back in Singapore once in awhile.
She, on another hand hope life will be better in Dubai. Not material wise, not lesser workload. But being well and motivated mentally, doing what she think design should always be. That will be the biggest hope that she wish it can be fulfil. So that she can be truly happy and time will unknowingly pass faster.
She is happy someone is saying things she ever wished someone said to her sincerely. Never know how it could happen but it does happen. Learning how to deal with ego issues, and yet every word encourages her. Awww..Today make her realise that what deem perhaps not so much to her, might have actually unknowingly mean alot to her.
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