Overdue entry of 11 Feb at Age 22.

These are taken during her 22nd birthday in Dubai,Winter 2009 in office. Yes this is the nicest part of the CCTV controlled office/designer's factory. Yes so MS, you can see what I became when I was secretly chatting on the phone with you.

Thanks ladies for the dinner after the powder bath and the very adorable, young at heart video... Very nice atmosphere and my fave thai food. What else can I say. Perfect weather, favourite food, perfect company.

Well, shall not make this yet another boring and whining entry...

At Souk Al Bahar, and yes..there's a small portion of Burj Towers behind..Its winter still.If not she'll not be even standing out in the open taking photos.

And last but not least. Melissa is coming!!My crazy woman..I wish you could pack MS in your luggage too..haha..anyway..Yeah!! We can go yum cha and relax and lead life like a taitai for a day!! Manz..and its gonna be summer soon and the shades will have to be put into her bag everyday. When the sky has no more clouds, the sun's rays comes straight to your eye.

Desert Safari

Thanks Alan for the Company sponsor trip today...Looking forward to another one.

Was very much to her liking...since the phobia or thrilling amusement rides slowly catch up with her age..she thinks. Haha..anyway when the land cruiser was driving on the desert sand, it felt like roller coaster minus the speed of it. Gets all the frustration out. And the sand is so so fine..and cool...very nice to sit on,run....blah blah blah...Ok, let the pictures do the talking!!

Going downhill..

Me, Nee & Lily at our first stop

On the second stop above the rocks

Sandboarding follow by dinner and henna in the desert..

Happy 2009

For the past year, she thanked god's gift. She thanked the magical strength despite the distances. She thanked the love she has gotten. She thanked all her good girlfriends who stood by her. She thanked all the good things that happened. She thanked all the bad things she'd experienced.
For the New year, she wishes of more happiness because of her choice. She wishes her choice are leading her the right way. She wish she makes it to University. She wish good health for all the ones she loves. She wish that god be fair. She wishes those good to deserves what is meant for good people. She wishes all the best for everyone kind hearted.

Overdue

Some overdue photos when she's back for a holiday!!!! Countdown another 7-8 mths..thank god created Febuary with lesser days..And yes...my birthday soo!!!

The next time I'm back, Gina we'll go together to Marina Barrage with Vina ok. Nice place for kids..

Home sooner

Think she'll be home sooner than expected.

First it started with a realisation, followed by a strange and sudden thought that pops out from somewhere in her mind, and she gave that sudden thought a thought. And she was caught very much in a thought process. Days passed. Evaluation of the pros and cons of the decision and the current situation at hand. Withthe everyday thought of it, the more she felt like she should just go for it.

She knew she did not what to regret not trying hard enough. She remembered what Syafiq once said, "Its better to regret trying, than regret not trying at all." If she wants it bad enough, she know she will give it her very best. This very best needs time, alot. This best needs alot of concentration, therefore peace must be factor into the decision. There will be no time, and no peace if she stays on.

Money no longer seems as tempting. Something else is. Something else is definately better than office politics, better than trying to put on a smiling face and trying to manage all the hatred. And she definately have her own choice to make and own rights to transform a unhappy situation into a happier situation. She would rather be home and surviving on $300 a month off her savings, than earning thousands and never felt abit happier.

No, she doesn't know if life at home would be any good without money and eating into her savings. She doesn't know even if she could ever find a job in these bad recession time, especially for this industry.

But she knoes she doesn't like how unmotivated she is. She doesn't like how negativity is eating into the positivity that took her years to build up. She doesn't like how positivity has already been drained out from her. It is almost like everyday is a battle to stay afloat, to stay sane, to control her words and actions from the urge to give some a thrashing and a enjoyable leashing of the tension. No, some people never learn and never will, therefore there's no point in even trying to talk. Therefore if a thrashing were to happen, its basically to let out, not educate. No point trying to bleach a shirt that is already blacken and black. It will never be perfect colour. There will still be gray.

If giving up the money would get all these above exchanged, perhaps it is not too bad a consideration to make. The worse is when positivity is drained. Confidence, capability, independance, would all follow suit and be drained out. And back to basic is good at times. It makes you think back and realise what you have forgotten what you are actually working for in the beginning.

And in the beginning, she just wanted a enough paying job, but she wants to be able to take her job as a hobby. She wants to be motivated and be with positive people. Very simple, but like she always said, "very simple, but not easy to acheive."

She wants to be where the angels are too.

Christmas Dinner @ The Palace Hotel and Drinks at Pool Lounge at The Address...

Fantastic weather with the right temperature in the winter and fog was amazing...And the dinner buffet was good. Snail Salad, grilled prawns, and amazing dessert...

Caught in between all those messy thoughts

To come back or not.
So many things that's running through the mind.
Money no longer seems tempting.
Happiness is what money can't buy really.
Money can't buy the less of tears, in fact, with the money, the tears fell more.
Money can't buy emotional motivation.
Money can't buy you harmony and peace.
Money can't buy you angels.
Money can't buy even a true smile on her face.

And she is purely just working for the sake of money for University allowance if she ever made it there...It was a just a simple intention. Yet what the simple intention turns out to make her life very very...unhappy to say.