Welcome to her little space

单独但不孤单...你做得到吗？

2010-12-29T01:34:00.003+08:00

Where are you my friend named Peace
Sometimes this little world becomes so quietly scary

Do you know what I need...

I need a smile coming deep down from a concerned friend
I need a pat on my back to know that I am recognised
I need a concern to know that I am not alone
I need a simple dinner with my beloved friends which everyone is doing
I need a carefree day without any emotional worries
I need to be to see my family before it becomes too late
I need a little encouragement to know that I am not lousy
I need understanding without speaking

Simple theory...But we might all have forgotten.

2010-09-13T11:42:00.005+08:00

Daddy and Mummy once said to their kid : "If you get top 5 in class, Mummy will bring you for a overseas holidays."

So the kid studied hard to be the best. Knowing that she is not the best in class, but she strive to do her very best.

And yes, Daddy and Mummy brings you for a holiday to Indonesia. Nearby. Indonesia is nearby. Even if it is nearby, but that is the reward that you worked for. And the kid knows its not easy for her family to afford it. When eating out even in a coffeeshop is already expensive.

But imagine if the kid don't have to work for it anymore and get the trips just as well. Do you think it is as memorable?

Everything that Daddy and Mummy buys, was a reward. A new schoolbag. A new pencil case. With is so simple, yet it was based on terms that the kid work for it.

Then, Daddy and Mummy was the "money" to get you things you worked for.

Now, The theory is the same.

Because you work for it. Simply that. Not hard to understand.

Sometimes even if we have grown up. The basic theory still exist. The basic that Daddy and Mummy onces said to the kid. "You want to get something. You work for it."

Yet, its not simple to understand.

Emotional Value

2010-09-13T11:04:00.002+08:00

Remember the feeling when you work your ass off to afford your first Braun Buffel wallet.
Remember the feeling when you work 2 years just to save up for the future and blow it all over in 1 trip to London.
Remember how hard it was to depart with a hundred dollars for the wallet and how heartpain to blow off all your 2 years savings for a trip to London.

Yet, it was memorable. Because these things are hard earned. And you made it. Though the value of the money is low as compared to current situation, yet, the value was so great.

Remember the first watch after working a year to afford it. That, was sense of acheivement.
Remember the second watch on your 23rd birthday. That, was a birthday gift for your own achievement. A reward. To be able to afford one that you like.
The first bag was of that value just as well.

Subseqently, all that follows lost its value. Not the value of the money. Yet, the emotional value. All that follows lose the emotional value. They don't mean as more anymore.

A bag is just like a bag. A bag to contain your stuff.
No longer a bag that was worth the sense of achievement and reward to myself.

Emotional value is when you know its worth. Emotional value is when you know the value in which this amout could do for yourself.

Emotional value is when it buys happiness. True happiness, simple little thing called happiness.

Simple little thing of knowing someone likes it. Simple thing of knowing that it makes a difference in someone's life. Simple thing of knowing it could possibly transform someone elses life. Simple thing that we all have, but some people will never have. Like a year of education. Like a pencil.

This give you a sense of inner happiness. To know that someone out there, appreciates this little things that might mean nothing to you, but mean a little difference to them. A year of education to us might not get us anywhere. But a year of education to others means the basic means of literacy. Literacy that could possibly lead them to a better life.

This is when the money works its wonder, not for you, but for others. And in return, this brings out its emotional value. The value of being able to achieve someone else's little dream, someone else's little smile.

Monetry value last only so much. But when you know, others benefits from it. When you know this could help mould a kids future, be it your own flesh or others less priviledge. When you know it could provide a shelter for others.

This is its real value. A sense of achievement. When you know, what you worked your ass off for, and how much worth it brings for working so hard for.

勇敢

2010-09-04T03:03:00.003+08:00

解脱- A Mei

"解脱是懂擦干泪看以后找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔我总会实现一个梦

心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头..."

~ A Mei - 解脱

本来就是一场游戏。游戏里默默写着的规则，我没忘记。
心里偶尔也会有那沉重的伤感，但也默默渴望游戏不会结束。

但是，事实就是事实，再渴望，也是不会有任何的改变。

在你的未来里，我看不到，也感觉不到我的影子。

本来就是如此，不是吗？

在那无可避免的离别时，我希望我会有勇气对着这一个没有将来，但很美好回忆说的说："谢谢你。再见。"

离别时不再哭泣，不再伤感，不再渴望，也不在自私。。。

Feeling like winter in Summer

2010-07-14T01:36:00.003+08:00

God knows what is troubling that confused and sad mind...
Only god knows because she doesn't know what is bothering that usual independent girl...when typing a blog feels like the tears are stuck behind the eyes.

Feel like crying but not sure what she's crying for.

Feeling useless, feeling definately less independent, feeling like a job didn't land on her hands like it should really be, feeling moody of her mood swings...One moment smiling and one moment worth smiling, she feels the opposite. Why does she feel like a breakup with herself?

Reading self help book is perhaps a sign that life needs some rectification and correction. Its time you need a book to remind yourself to buck up, and everything is not gonna matter one year down the road, so why bother getting all stressed about it. When you need a book to remind you that "snowball" effect of thoughts is really unhealthy and wasting alot of time stressing over it...

Buck up. Just Buck Up...Everyday...It will be ok...Someday, Someday...Someday winter would be over...

Dreaming of an Italian holiday

2010-07-09T04:53:00.006+08:00

Well well, she still prefers European holidays over Asian-never-ending-shopping holidays...

She loves watching architecture, culture, history and.....and just a little shopping will do because its nothing too unique. You can do it back home too :)

Oh well...Should apply leave soon. Tentatively would be just herself on this trip unless someone pops up to join her.

This time, unlike London and Frankfurt, she wants to spend a fruitful air ticket and get travelling around in trains, which she always fear...And visit many places...

Rome, Florence, Venice, and if possible to squeeze in Amalfi, Naples in that short 11-12 days trip...she wants to see the blue and clear waters of the Mediterranean Sea...Though Southern part of Italy like Sicily would be god damn perfect but guessed it might be alitle chilly to visit near the end of the year...Oh well, leave those pretty Medditerranean places for future honeymoon, if it ever happens. Haha, and also the lavender fields would be one place on earth worth visiting :)

Just throw me beautiful scenery on the train, bicycle or a cute little vespa scooter...She'll be a damn happy girl...and a memory to last for a long long time...

The flying chairs

2010-06-30T01:55:00.005+08:00

She feels like she have been sitting on this flying chair for a long long time...
So long that she no longer feels the freedom, feels the wind in her hair, feels the amazing scenery.
But rather, she feels the bar holding her in the seat, feels the distance of the her flying chair to the next flying chair, feels the monotonous ride...

All that freedom and all that happiness is only so much without being able to collide and have a laugh, without being able to hold the next chair, without being able to talk to your friend flying on the next chair...

June 2010

2010-06-22T02:00:00.004+08:00

She knows that she hasn't been updating her blog for a darn long time...

Life was busy. Series of events unfold itself..

She will remember the days on site close to Dubai World Cup in March 27, 2010 for a long time. That was the day that everyone have been working towards, whereby visions became reality. Though we had barely rested enough from the past few days of mad rush to open Meydan Grandstand, nevertheless, the pride and all..it goes without saying...

After that, the company reorganisation, the old colleagues left, and she transferred to the other company...All for the better of tomorrow, hopefully...

And now with a little wee bit of time, hopefully this blog will be updated regularly enough...

Now that all friends are thousand miles apart, and being her, friendship is something she picks and choose with great fuss. And even among new friendships formed, the people she chooses to confide in are that very few.

So now...this would be that little space where she could trash it out, speak the unspoken, speak what she thinks, without worrying if it hurt others or if the words will change a certain situation...

Let's start by uploading some nice memories before it all fades...

Few weeks before the Grand Opening of Meydan

New Home @ Burj Views

2009-09-05T04:07:00.008+08:00

Dear Folks!!

Finally the long awaited day has arrived!! Finally I'm moving out to a place to call our own in Downtown Burj Dubai with Xueni!

Thanks dear friends who helped with the moving since dearest room mate flew back to enjoy life. Ha, I'm enjoying too!

Thanks Kenneth for your car and help with moving.

Thanks Tim and Sue for your help in cleaning.

Thanks security guard who is wayyyy better than my soon-to-be ex apartment who doesn't even give a damn to you when he sees that your hand are filled with more than what you carry and he doesn't help to push open the door.

Its more than moving to a better environment, its about having a free space to ourselves with our own breathing space, our own place to care for and maintain.

It not done up yet, but progress is as important too....

On the day I arrive to take site measurement after work

Ken's car on Thursday IKEA Shopping
The Living/Dining Area
On Friday 4th Sept...Cleaning day!!

My imagination

2009-08-30T04:45:00.003+08:00

Typing this is the middle of the night. She knows it well that she should go to rest. The body wants to rest, but the heart wants to stay awake to do more things, aimlessly.

It is one of those days that she wished the distance wasn't so far. She wish that she could finish work and head down for an aimless walk with him. The thought of walking down the street, just enjoying the company, even if there isn't much exchange of words, is simply heartwarming.

Somehow along the way, it seems that the perfect thought of the future never really comes to happen in real life for her. Well, of course there are moments that are more than what she can ask for, but human are greedy. The next time she's not ever gonna give up her annual leave. NEVER!! Just forget about what a fool she is to have given up. Damn it.

Somedays she wish she could just break the rules a little. But knowing the other half will not approve of it, she has to be obedient. Hmm...Well well..what can I say..Costly plan to execute and she is constantly reminded to spend wisely..But you know that there's some things that money could buy for you? Or should I say, money can exchange time for you, and maybe freedom.

If only I could spend the day with you. Like I've always wanted to. Guess that's why I'm made for who I am. Thank God that I'm created to daydream and imagine alot. Daydream and Imagine at work, and imagine my own fairytale, imagine going out with you, imagine being there with you in your every step. I wish I could have it realised than just purely imagining the best picture. Thinking too much sometimes hurt you on the inside. Especially when it is very simple to accomplish, but you seem to be the one whose not that ordinary.

Darling, I remember you and I definately miss you. Another 89days, 15hours and 56 minute is very long. I do have alot of imagined-plans.

Imagined being able to attend events with you.
Imagined spending a nice short holiday here with me, sightseeing, walking aimlessly...
Imagined being able to not hide from anyone about us..(which I'm very tempted not to hide anymore..)
Imagined going back home and go on a short trip nearby with you and my dear friends.
Imagined parents who accepted my decision.
Imagined if only I am courageable enough to admit to them.

Today was one of those days she remembered walking down the riverside and crying hard yet quietly on his shoulder. Today was one of those days she missed that presence so badly.

And on the other hand, she frustrated.
Some people should just mind their own business. We have no TV here, doesn't mean that your not-so-close friends can be your "celebrity entertainment news".
She felt being "supervised/watched/talk/thought about". She feels restricted, and definately provoked to display the rebellious side of her. Yes Love, I know you will always opt to go the other way of being in your own world and doing your own things. Yes, I want to but at the same time I wish people could just not talk. Its tiring to be wary of your surroundings, to be wary of your actions and words, to be wary of offending, to be wary of every single damn thing. Even wary of being seen walking out from office. I'M NOT A KID MUMMY!! And maybe because she's got enough of being wary of her actions, that's what tempting her not to hide him from anyone.

Goodnight world. Goodnight Love. Goodnight my friends.

Another Friday morning on 14th Aug

2009-08-14T13:53:00.002+08:00

She's been not updating for a long time. She knows its. Maybe there's less things she's complaining about, since we have to admit that blog/journals are the little passageway that provides a little comfort to life.

In summery, life's been ok.

Yes, definately awkwards moments, like lesser talking to some people and more talking to another group of people. Drifting away from some and getting closer to others. But being here for about a year,(2nd Sept 2008,I landed in this city)perhaps, she's gotten used to the often changing politics/grouping of people. Something not that nice to happen, but maybe that's life and this trip here has taught her to see the world and the mankind a little bit more. Well, like I said, every bad things that happens in your life may not be that bad afterall :)

And, she's moving out to somewhere and hopefully we can secure the place. Somewhere we can call our own. And there's something about colleagues staying together. 1 year here and its has proven to be not that ideal idea because there's no break between office and home. Guess that's what we all need a home to go back to, to meet another group of people. Ok, not that she's staying out alone but yea..at least more private. Will upload more pictures of the moving house progress...and the cleaning and the moving and the fitting out works. Haha...Will have to move alone since my dearest roommate is going back SIN.

And yea, every thursday weekend, hopefully it stays the same. Having some nice dinner after work on Thurs evening and a little chilling session...guess makes life pass a little faster and less boring..Being someone who will sit infront of the screen waiting for something to happen...it definately helps alot to bring your mind somewhere else for a little break.

And leave's approved for end november till 20th December.
So yup...will wait for Nee to transfer some photos for me before images are loaded.

Little things

2009-07-17T19:59:00.003+08:00

Hmm...
Little things here and there make your day a little bad. Its good now. But..well, maybe life is just like that...when something picks up, something goes down. Some little things become such an issue.

Some days she wonder if its gonna be lost one day. Some days she wonder if its becoming less exciting. Some days she wonder if she should suppress her thoughts. There's fear. Fear of change. Fear of becoming tired or becoming a very tiresome person. The past sometimes seems to haunt her. The past sometimes remind her of who she might become, or might seem to be to others. Maybe its the combination. Maybe there's no best combination. Maybe there's a factor of sacrifice to make to attain some good from it?

Keeping shut the best option? Trying to be understanding is the best option? What's the best?

out to the sea...

2009-06-01T03:23:00.007+08:00

Summer's here...and just some little fun out at sea!! Just a little sunshine, a little sea water gets her happy...And yes..being afraid of sharks in M'sia water...and yet when Mel's manage to convince her to dip into the Arabian gulf waters...She just did it without any knowledge of the surrounding...there's sharks..haha..

Well but the water is warm and nice...its addictive and it didn't occur to her that warm water is where shark lives too!!! And the picture is a school of dolphins..nto shark..haha

1star shit

2009-05-11T04:34:00.003+08:00

Yes, today's been relatively smooth sailing. Have learnt how to control her speech and action in the past 8 months...have to be ultra sensitive and ultra careful what you speak. Every word might get you into trouble, even the smallest, unimaginable issue.

And very delightful to have received a unexpected morale booster email (this is the plus point why today is less than 1 star shit).

Some times you know that some things are not possible because we are standing on a different greenwich meridian line. Yet, she didn't deny the power of imagination. It is good enough to bring you across the continent and accomplish it, in your mind.

Goodnight. Off the lights! Huggies!

Things she grew to hate

2009-05-10T04:16:00.004+08:00

The Dubai Lesson: Going from dislike to Hate

One thing that pisses her off is when people don't talk with manners, put it in a simple term, being rude.

Being rude is one thing she wouldn't entertain...So no rude kids, no kids who misbehave...And she've noticed that she limit it to describing kids because most of the time, grown up have some manners. In this case, she's talking about a grown up. OLDER THAN I AM.

She hates rude reply especially when she tries to talk nicely to you though she's pissed off already. Enough said. Fucking rude...and it's pushing her limit. Not that she's got alot of patience, but she'll normally give face and she's been controlling her hot tempered way too much...and yet she's on the verge of sounding like something her mum would say:'You better talk with some manners before I slap you.'

She hates how she have to see other's mood to work. And bloody hell, this is not a farming industry!She's not a farmer and she doesn't have to rely on a bloody weather forecast to decide what to do with the day. Woman have PMS and are moody but hell no, I'm not talking about a woman here. I've never ever met someone who have 26days/mth PMS. Hello!! I'm a female and I don't think I've ever have such bad PMS as compared to alot of people, let alone you. And if you are really in a terrible mood in 26days out of 30days a month, shouldn't you have already learn some self control? And if you are in bad mood, you don't have to make everyone suffer like you do. (On another note, maybe that is why females are at times stronger than males? Because god decides that we'll get to suffer cramps monthly for 20+ years and yet we'll still need to carry on our daily duties as per normal. And because of that, we need to put up with people who try to make life difficult for you whether or not you are already super irritated by the backache and cramps. And yet at the same time, trying not to loose your temper at those bastards who never stop trying to make things difficult for you)
Work is work, your mood is none of her business because she's only here for work and how can you ever let your mood decides how people work should turn out to be? (Being a believer in you deserve what you get, being bad deserves no pity from her)
When you're in good mood, everything is ok and even if its not ok, you will source the answer out. But when your mood is bad, you done even bother to give an answer or, give a rude/crude fucking attitude/answer. And the point is, you don't have to do anything to offend the person. You can be ultra nice but it seems that the person can decide how to treat you by the mood he wakes up to...She's sick and tired of saying the word unprofessional.

Not that she's so perfect, not that she's not rude at times, not that she's sooo professional..
but just that I DON'T FUCKING OWE YOU A LIVING! No one in this world owe you a living. And no one is also responsible for your life (including your mood and tantrum and attitude). So kid, grow up!

And she dislike politics and lies (Worse still, stupid lies) White lies is never too much of a harm, that is what she think. However, to lie and think that people are stupid, and lying selfishly to benefit themselves is very disappointing. Very.

That's it. Enough of complain for the day, complain queen.

Thank you for her Takeshi's movie. Seeing your wit makes me smile like a crazy 6year old girl.
And thank you to her you-know-who-you-are for being way mature beyond your age. She can't help but always compare how much better you are. Everytime these shits happen, it always make her realise how indifferent you are and remind her of why she've always admire you, your attitude, your spirit, your temper..and the list can go on...and on...even your weakness is better than the other person's best (that's if she can remember your weakness)

Goodnight. Today has been a 8star shit. Let tomorrow be just a 1star shit.

Just a couple of lazy days...

2009-05-09T02:59:00.006+08:00

And guess pictures will be left to speak of itself for the past 2 months...Summer is hitting the desert yet again...And time seemed to pass faster than expected. Half a year of 2009 is about to be up...and yet there's alot to catch up with...

Glad she's finally warming up to Dubai and making a couple of friends here, and meeting a few unexpected people here. Perhaps this is all that will make the Dubai Experience something worth remembering too...

Marina Barrage Picnic while she was back...

And this is last month's Jumeira Beach outing while the weather is still bearable...it would be long before we'll hit the beach again...40degrees and going up..

Home April 24th-May 4th

2009-04-28T21:33:00.002+08:00

I'm home for a week...

I've got seriously uncomfortable with driving the new car. Wasn't the perfect picture that I pictured I would be like before I drove. Not only was I trying to get used to the new car and driving at incredibly slow speed and following behind lorries and busese on the expressway, I seem to forget the road around small Singapore. I can't remember where the exits are exactly and I panicked even more when I have to park the car. Panicky me is super unglamourous..

Well...heard that office isn't doing well and basic instinct is actually telling me to start pathing another way for myself in preparation for the worse. Actually I still have a job if we moved back to Singapore, but I guess it's me who thought of moving away and learning something new. Well..I've been way way less commited to work and I think if it really happens, I'll look for a new job which I've been talking about since last June? It's almost a year now.. And a few more months to end of Aug which I've been waiting for. So just let me pass it and save a little more...

But looking on the bright side, losing my job might not be that bad. It would just become another plan that we've been talking about since months ago. To take time off and buck up on my portfolio. Now that I might loose my job because of unethical colaborations, well, the more my portfolio should be ready for a new job, and school as well.

Signature

2009-03-16T17:06:00.000+08:00

Handwriting VS Personality

"Those who write the first letter of the name followed by the surname and put dot or dots below the signature are very lucky. Such people take birth to reap the fruits of their previous birth. They are religious and soft spoken. They are very simple and sensitive. Hence they are very gullible. This is the only drawback in their personality. People who write their full name as the signature are very special. Drawing a line beneath the full name indicates their spirituality. They are full of zeal and they know how to use it best. They are very self-conscious. Whichever field they choose, they start innovating in that. Such people are far away from selfishness and egoism. They are very close to God. "

I wonder why.

2009-03-15T20:15:00.005+08:00

Have you ever complained about the situation you are in, yet you know you are in a sitaution better than a few million people out there?

You complain about the colleagues you met at work, and wanted to quit your job because you couldn't bear the sight of them even for another day.Yet you know how fortunate you are as compared to the thousands out there have no colleagues to even complain about because they don't even have a job to start with to feed their family of few.

You question and often doubt yourself, with what you have, who you have. But for many others, they don't even have what you have to begin with. Some said parents aren't earning enough, yet there are a world of them out there whose parent's could not even afford to bring 3 meals onto the dining table.

And very often the case that a patient is fighting for his/her live, yet a completely healthy person choose to end their life.

Weird isn't it. No matter how poor you are, or how rich you are, how healthy you are, how sick you are, how fortunate you are, how unfortunate you are. We all have our own troubles and own worries.

Independence

2009-03-14T02:36:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt like you have been losing that sense of independence you always had with you?
Have you ever dislike that part in you that start relying on others?
Have you been starting to rely on others to make your days slightly better, or make you feel abit better?
Not a wise choice to rely on others. No?
Scary to let others determine your happiness. No?

While she always make it a point to be independant and happy, without letting anyone determine the way she feel, some days, she feels scared that she seems to be losing it...

She should never, ever lose it. Independance is of great strength to her,as well as a protective barrier to her. Where has the inner peace gone to?

Mel's stopover in Feb

2009-03-11T04:45:00.002+08:00

24/04 to 04/05

2009-03-11T02:37:00.005+08:00

Coincidentally, as she laid her work aside mentally for the day and wanted to fill another entry here informing about life and talking about going home, her manly Ipod sang

"Another summer day, has come and gone away.
In Paris and rome, but I wanna go home.
Maybe surrounded by a million people's eye
Still feel all alone, just wanna go home. Oh I miss you, you know"

Yes the above is the date she'll be coming home. A short few days. She needs to get all these done:
-Check and get all certificates and result slips certified in TP if needed
-Install Norton anti-virus before anything bad happens to the first and new laptop
-Install Photoshop
-Buy/photocopy reference books
-Visit grandpa. Yes, she fought to get her leave approved earlier. Maybe Mak spoke something to Boss and it got into him

Not to mention meeting the angels. Would like to make a trip to Marina Barrage, get some tan and exercise by biking around in Ubin...Catch a movie or two..Have a peaceful night out in Dempsey, or perhaps somewhere of equivelent...

Being apart for a period does not kill. Yes, some days you might have forgotten how it feels to have someone dear physically next to you, till a point that it takes a few minutes to get back the same feeling after meeting in real time. Yes, some days you might be even relying on photos to keep them in memory. But somehow, time makes moments feel magical, and maybe less taken granted for. And maybe even makes one a stronger individual, maybe because there is no one to offer you a shoulder to cry on anytime you demand. And some times, you are let with no choice but to put up with whatever life throws at you.

Oh yes and on 12th March marks the 2nd year she's working in the company. Tons of ups and down, especially after we relocated to this desert. And surprisingly, she have been complaining and toying with the idea of quitting the job for 10months, and counting. Maybe it is due to the economic recession, and maybe it was the drive to save up for schooling expenses in the future..

Last week had been relatively calm, this week is midway through and she hopes that the week stays relatively calm too.

-Goodnight world. Goodnight Love. Goodnight Friends.-
May peace be upon us. Literally.

Leave delayed

2009-03-05T18:15:00.002+08:00

I've been wanting to go home since end Jan when grandpa have stroke. But I was made to stay because projects is running. Now that march has arrived and it means I can go home because leave is unfrozen, I tried to apply for April. But again pushed to May.

Not that I cannot wait to go home, its not just about me. If there was no one else to consider, I would go home in May. But not everything is just about me, right?

Besides this. Work sucks as ever. Somedays I don't even feel like fighting anymore. I still do angry when people try to be funny and try to make life difficult. Somedays I wished I could just leave. Resignation Letter is in my drawer, typed and waiting for an envelop and handed in in May. Tendering in May and end of the year, in this times...make alot of difference to my savings. But somedays I just feel like going home, but somedays, this thought that after taking in all the anger for so many months, and we've survived it, what more if I just bite on and hold for another month, and another month...and another...

Just didn't know what I've signed up for somedays. Really. At this moment, I'm actually quite disappointed, which I should be angry but there is no point in getting angry because only I will feel the hurt more than those that hurt. Seriously. Why. If only everyone can be as good as...If only I can stop comparing...Everyone is not perfect, but being not perfect is one thing. Being selfish is another. I am..so...If I can make up my mind..really. I am only working for the money so that I don't have to suffer next time when I go to school, or just to lessen my financial burden for my family..But what is this shit that I have to put up with every single living day?

Another Fucked Up day

2009-03-02T13:14:00.004+08:00

She wants mummy to get rid of those mean, ugly people. They fucking spoil people day early in the morning.

This morning she woke up feeling like she just want to stay muted and quiet. Numb. If only people could make out of the fucking situation. Since when I gotten myself into this asshole piece of shit job? Sorry not my job, but things that make up of having a job.

What has become of this job that used to be once what I loved? What has become of the environment? What has become of it?

That's why I love you.

2009-03-02T00:28:00.003+08:00

Love,

Some days you just seem to make me feel so much better with so much ease.
Today is one day of those days I feel so happy because you're such an angel.
Today is one day of those days that you reminded me why I love you so.
Effortlessly, you made it again:)

With Love,
Me.

You always get it right. Amazing how you can make things very simple.You made my day after my everyday was spoilt day after day by someday 1 person, someday few people :) Let's keep it happy. Afterall, this is meant for you.

If only human heart is kind

2009-03-01T23:49:00.004+08:00

If only. If only human does not excercise the little devil in them.

I am not born to entertained nonsense.
I am not born to be as benovelent as others.
I am not born just like others who can swallow their sadness and anger.
I am not born to love everyone.
I am not born to be bullied.

I am cold hearted, but events exploded recently and I realised that no matter how evil hearted I can be, I could only speak.
Blamed it on my guts.
Blamed it on me who cannot do something without my conscience.
Blamed it on me because I hate facing people with guilt and awkwardness even when what I spoke was the truth in total anger.

Some days this anger made me feel so much like crying out and screaming at them.
But blame it on my ego and belief that tears should never roll infront of your opposition.

As much as I believed that our life cannot always be pushed around by others.
Never have I felt so pushed around by others.
Never have I controlled so much anger.

Yes. I may be not the best kind hearted people. But it seems its been an eye opening few months for me.
I've seen how selfish humans can be. Til they forgot about others, just to acheive what they want. Maybe they have even forgotten that there are humans with feelings surrounding them.

I've seen how people cared about the small things in life, they forgot to see the big picture.

I've seen how people angered get carried away, that they forgot to see the white and black in life. That they forgot that there are someone kind enough.

I've seen how people are no better than the one that they are against.

For once, somehow I felt cheated. I felt like I've misjudged everything. Misjudge everything that took time to build, yet moments to destroy. I felt I was not being smart enough. But I was never that smart. Time are to be spent worth while, not analysing all these.

It has come to a point that crack lines will always crack lines. Some word will never be said anymore. Because you are unworthy of those words.

Love, I'm not sure how you can ever me kind to others, even if others are not kind to you. I'm not sure how is that ever possible. I'm not sure how that can inspire the person to pick up traits of you. I think much less of myself. I don't expect them to be like me. All I expect is to be kind. And I cannot imagine how you can possibly pray that they will become someone better someday. I don't think I can ever be like who you are.

And this is why I love you so. Some things others will never understand.

As much as I wished people would be like you. Mak have said,: "If every men is just like the other, that makes all of them redundant."

And I would never want them to be like you. You are special, just like that.

And I don't give a damn who reads this. Yes, I might just be speaking about you for the whole wide world to see...For I believe, there is nothing to be afraid off if I have spoken the truth and done no wrong.

Overdue entry of 11 Feb at Age 22.

2009-02-20T05:31:00.004+08:00

These are taken during her 22nd birthday in Dubai,Winter 2009 in office. Yes this is the nicest part of the CCTV controlled office/designer's factory. Yes so MS, you can see what I became when I was secretly chatting on the phone with you.

Thanks ladies for the dinner after the powder bath and the very adorable, young at heart video... Very nice atmosphere and my fave thai food. What else can I say. Perfect weather, favourite food, perfect company.

Well, shall not make this yet another boring and whining entry...

At Souk Al Bahar, and yes..there's a small portion of Burj Towers behind..Its winter still.If not she'll not be even standing out in the open taking photos.

And last but not least. Melissa is coming!!My crazy woman..I wish you could pack MS in your luggage too..haha..anyway..Yeah!! We can go yum cha and relax and lead life like a taitai for a day!! Manz..and its gonna be summer soon and the shades will have to be put into her bag everyday. When the sky has no more clouds, the sun's rays comes straight to your eye.

Desert Safari

2009-01-10T01:56:00.005+08:00

Thanks Alan for the Company sponsor trip today...Looking forward to another one.

Was very much to her liking...since the phobia or thrilling amusement rides slowly catch up with her age..she thinks. Haha..anyway when the land cruiser was driving on the desert sand, it felt like roller coaster minus the speed of it. Gets all the frustration out. And the sand is so so fine..and cool...very nice to sit on,run....blah blah blah...Ok, let the pictures do the talking!!

Going downhill..

Me, Nee & Lily at our first stop

On the second stop above the rocks

Sandboarding follow by dinner and henna in the desert..

Happy 2009

2009-01-01T16:48:00.003+08:00

For the past year, she thanked god's gift. She thanked the magical strength despite the distances. She thanked the love she has gotten. She thanked all her good girlfriends who stood by her. She thanked all the good things that happened. She thanked all the bad things she'd experienced.
For the New year, she wishes of more happiness because of her choice. She wishes her choice are leading her the right way. She wish she makes it to University. She wish good health for all the ones she loves. She wish that god be fair. She wishes those good to deserves what is meant for good people. She wishes all the best for everyone kind hearted.

Overdue

2009-01-01T16:23:00.005+08:00

Some overdue photos when she's back for a holiday!!!! Countdown another 7-8 mths..thank god created Febuary with lesser days..And yes...my birthday soo!!!

The next time I'm back, Gina we'll go together to Marina Barrage with Vina ok. Nice place for kids..

Home sooner

2008-12-30T16:53:00.004+08:00

Think she'll be home sooner than expected.

First it started with a realisation, followed by a strange and sudden thought that pops out from somewhere in her mind, and she gave that sudden thought a thought. And she was caught very much in a thought process. Days passed. Evaluation of the pros and cons of the decision and the current situation at hand. Withthe everyday thought of it, the more she felt like she should just go for it.

She knew she did not what to regret not trying hard enough. She remembered what Syafiq once said, "Its better to regret trying, than regret not trying at all." If she wants it bad enough, she know she will give it her very best. This very best needs time, alot. This best needs alot of concentration, therefore peace must be factor into the decision. There will be no time, and no peace if she stays on.

Money no longer seems as tempting. Something else is. Something else is definately better than office politics, better than trying to put on a smiling face and trying to manage all the hatred. And she definately have her own choice to make and own rights to transform a unhappy situation into a happier situation. She would rather be home and surviving on $300 a month off her savings, than earning thousands and never felt abit happier.

No, she doesn't know if life at home would be any good without money and eating into her savings. She doesn't know even if she could ever find a job in these bad recession time, especially for this industry.

But she knoes she doesn't like how unmotivated she is. She doesn't like how negativity is eating into the positivity that took her years to build up. She doesn't like how positivity has already been drained out from her. It is almost like everyday is a battle to stay afloat, to stay sane, to control her words and actions from the urge to give some a thrashing and a enjoyable leashing of the tension. No, some people never learn and never will, therefore there's no point in even trying to talk. Therefore if a thrashing were to happen, its basically to let out, not educate. No point trying to bleach a shirt that is already blacken and black. It will never be perfect colour. There will still be gray.

If giving up the money would get all these above exchanged, perhaps it is not too bad a consideration to make. The worse is when positivity is drained. Confidence, capability, independance, would all follow suit and be drained out. And back to basic is good at times. It makes you think back and realise what you have forgotten what you are actually working for in the beginning.

And in the beginning, she just wanted a enough paying job, but she wants to be able to take her job as a hobby. She wants to be motivated and be with positive people. Very simple, but like she always said, "very simple, but not easy to acheive."

She wants to be where the angels are too.

2008-12-26T21:07:00.005+08:00

Christmas Dinner @ The Palace Hotel and Drinks at Pool Lounge at The Address...

Fantastic weather with the right temperature in the winter and fog was amazing...And the dinner buffet was good. Snail Salad, grilled prawns, and amazing dessert...

Caught in between all those messy thoughts

2008-12-26T18:15:00.002+08:00

To come back or not.
So many things that's running through the mind.
Money no longer seems tempting.
Happiness is what money can't buy really.
Money can't buy the less of tears, in fact, with the money, the tears fell more.
Money can't buy emotional motivation.
Money can't buy you harmony and peace.
Money can't buy you angels.
Money can't buy even a true smile on her face.

And she is purely just working for the sake of money for University allowance if she ever made it there...It was a just a simple intention. Yet what the simple intention turns out to make her life very very...unhappy to say.

Where Angels Are

2008-12-19T01:37:00.006+08:00

Its good to be where "angels" are..

Those were the days where everything felt so right after so long.
Everywhere felt as familiar. The walk in the drizzle felt so natural, the smell of coffee, getting around in smaller roads amist all the cars in the over populated city, the sound of cards tapping in the buses and train station. All too familiar...

Movies was great though she fell asleep on and off..Walking in the night rain feels like second nature...Coffee at Starbucks just felt a world of difference..Japanese food at Paragon was fabulour with your bestie...Driving around with your girlfriend and having her stalling her car was funny...Basically..just being who she was...and who she is still, hopefully.

The feeling of being taken for who you are, is perhaps the best thing that can happen to her. Living for who she is, the freedom of speech, the freedom of emotions and expressions are what makes life alot much bearable, alot much happier, alot less tears, alot less frustrated, alot less anger and saddness and lonliness. Yes, she feels lonely too.

And being with positive people, or like-minded people, and most of all, these are the people who understands her like all she wanted to expressed are all written on her forehead and conveyed by just a look in the eye.

She didn't bear to leave for the fear of all those mixed feelings. Yes, she feels lonely too. Being alone and being lonely is different. She can be alone and very happy, yet these days it is fairly hard to. Somedays it felt like loneliness is slowly eating her, and often, by the thought of someone who understand, its hard to control the tears that are being contained. She couldn't be much happier anywhere else. And the flight back Dubai wasn't easy. Tears fell as soon as she manage to slip into her seat, and hearing the engine of the plane getting ready to take off, manz..it hasn't been as hard. So much of her felt like staying on, yet she can't. As the plane accelerates and took off and the city lights dimmed into the dark clouds, the tears just kept falling.

As much as she wanted to control her emotions..

1st December

2008-12-01T13:50:00.002+08:00

Counting down...Scary but very very very excited..8 days time!

Wanna go to :
-Hort Park
-Be brought to new places like the Marina..
-Re-visit the old Chinatown for food..
-and take a walk down Clarke Quay..
-..Sentosa..Henderson Waves in the night..
-Just anywhere..She'll be even happy taking the train..
-and yes,midnighte movies together..
-The usual boring esplanade..
-and meet with with people though though though..I just feel like being glued to..yes have to be fair..
-Japanese food!!Thai Food!!Ben & Jerry!!Starbucks!!
-Stock up on super duper nice drawing pens..

Manz all these feels like she need to run to get all these done.But yes,extremely happy to be back!!

17 more days to Singapore

2008-11-23T18:16:00.002+08:00

Found that she's been doing alot of counting down this year. And probably more so for the next 1 year. For it is for the better, happier moments.

Singapore is now like the HOLIDAY DESTINATION. Its always human. The closer you are to somewhere ideal in your dreams, its always not the place that you end up visiting. She's close to Turkey, Greece, Athen..and even long haul flights is now only 6 to 7 hours away..London, Europe..But it seems Singapore is still much better..Maybe it all matters is where people are.

Workplace has been a evil place to be. In fact, it feels like Bollywood. She hasn't been watching TV for 3 mths soon, yet there's always drama going on..and some case, stupid idoitic drama that..Well..Tired to say...And thank god there are nice people around. But yes..this place sucks.Have not been anywhere as sucky as this can get. Days can get real bitchy and...yes its very fucked up place.

But she's taking Syafiq's advice to create a "own environment". Its comparable to working in your little own air bubble and be somehow cut out from the rest of the shit that is floating around. Somedays it just make you feel like squeezing and shouting at somebody. Anyway..I will still try to be positive and I'll still be back here...For the sake of herself really. For the better, brighter and happier future.

And for the moment..she is very thankful to all the special ones that makes her inner soul feels so much better. If not some days really feels like shit..

Winter is here in Dubai

2008-11-15T20:35:00.005+08:00

Hey folks. Guess what. Its the starting of winter here in scorching Dubai!

Been very cooling for the pass few days it the night. But today it feels cool even at 3pm when she went down lunch with Immanuel. And we were happily sitting outside the Indian shop at the mosque opposite office when she witness the sand stirred up infront of the sandy carpark, and she was so amazed and thought what happened..so as she looks down the pack of Sheik Zeyed Road..wohooo...the sand was stirred up from everywhere and to describe how it look likes in a tropical context-heavy rain. Yes I'm sounding like a mountain mushroom but its amazing works of nature.

11 November 2008

2008-11-12T01:11:00.005+08:00

Somedays it makes you wonder..if having everything you wishes for..or more than what you have expected to be at this stage of life..actually makes you happier?

Would it have been better if I wasn't here..Would it been a better choice back at home? Closer to people who makes you life all that better, all that easier..

But if I'm home, will I get the chance to do all these things that I'm doing now? But then again, for all the anger and the frustration...is it worth it?

For the future, as far as she think, maybe its worth it..and she just have to try to hold on..and bear with all those..ups and down..Hate to say that, but probably be driven by the extensive amount that can be saved up for "future building"

7 November

2008-11-07T19:54:00.002+08:00

Hmm..Its just one of those days she just feel so so bored and alittle sad..and just wanna talk...she just unreasonably wants everything she wants...and feels the insecurity..hmm.

Another Sunday

2008-10-20T04:06:00.002+08:00

This is another Sunday night spend rushing for presentation on the next day. Lost count of presentation we've been doing so far. Well nowadays it is once or twice a week of mad rush and then it get a little less rushing.

Oh well..finally after about 6 weeks, she's finally gotten a place call home! Defination of a home now is a place she can start unpacking and stop living out from her suitcase. Well..she's still staying at the used-to-be temporary apartment. Fond memories there..though it has been few weeks already that we hasn't met, it still feels like you were around. Objects reminds people of the past. But besides that, she's too lazy to think of moving, cleaning and all those dust fighting..and moving things in the heat.

And well, yesterday the 4 of us, Immanuel, Derrick, Nee and I went to Ikea to finally pick up things with peace of mind and not just thinking about the basic survival, but also some items to spice up or help make home a better place. Humble, simple and liveable.

Buddha Bar

2008-10-08T17:05:00.005+08:00

Dinner sponsered by company to take a look at the interior which is the "IN" place to hangout in Dubai. Food are expensive. Taking an exchange rate of 2.6, calculate this:

Tom Yam Soup-40DHS

Steamed Rice-20DHS(which we can almost get a week supply of 5kg rice in the market)

Manchurian Prawn-Can't remember, about 140DHS?

Lemon sorbet 1 scoop-18DHS

Excellent ambience which reminds her of the Shintori in Shanghai. Food is nice, especially her long missed Tomyam soup...yes definately it have to be nice based on the fact that it is about 18SDG for that bowl.. Lucky company paid for that. Alrite..photos shall speak alittle of what's in there!

Might be coming back in December if my leave is approve..I'll find time for everyone!! Till then, take care!!

TOMYAM SOUP & I MISS SEAFOOD !!

A long way more

2008-10-07T13:48:00.005+08:00

Office related stuff are not at the best here. She've not moved to a fixed lodging yet, though already comfortably staying in the temporary one. Things that she hate is happening. She doesn't believe that she is actually looking for motivation, advice and confiding in someone she wished so much that she was working for. Some things now does not make sense. Good projects, good housemates, known some people from the partnering company.

However, what that was supposed to be good, ie office management blah blah..argh. Money spent unwisely, words that are twisted..all those trust that people need isn't there. Let's not spoil the morning today by reminding how sucky it can get to. Not sure how long more she's gonna stay. Wait till bonus? And that will be about another 14-15 mths..

Anyway, some of the nice moments amidst all the..hmm.. Nevermind.

Here are some photos taken at the beach in Jumeira..Pictures are only happy photos of the housemates.

Hey there Delilah

2008-09-29T02:30:00.002+08:00

Never did she realise the lyrics to this song in the past. But she came upon it while working and surfing for music on youtube when it started playing "Hey there Delilah"

And suddenly it struck her when Plain White T's sang till the second sentence.

What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with schoolA
nd I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

Now you get what I meant.
Now it all make sense and she remembered the time when it was sang and played.

Just those emo thoughts

2008-09-26T03:39:00.006+08:00

Just a thought

These feelings have long been inactive that she thought she will never feel the same again
She thought she might have even forgotten how it all felt
She thought contentment was supposed to come in other form

Talking about being contented
Contented was supposed to be contented and be happy with what you have even though it is not perfect. Nothing's perfect. So accept the weakness, together with everything that came with it. That what what she thought.

However, somehow she might have interpreted it wrongly all these while. What she was doing might just be a forced contentment. Either that, or she is blessed with so much she can ever asked for, that she really have no other request.

Talking about those forgotten feelings and feelings she never felt
Feelings that somehow or another makes you wanna tear and tears dropping seems easier than ever before. Like that defensive wall built around her all these while is gradually opening up bit by bit, putting up the defence, at the same time, joining forces to be even stronger.

Expressions that she joked always and thought it never happened in real life. She makes fun of her mother crying because some serial drama have such a touching ending. Yes, she laughed at her and thought she was out of her mind, engrossed in a life of a fairytale. Yet, crying because she is so happy that she forgets how to express it and tears just burst out like the water that was built up in the dam, holding so strong at every difficult moment, is actually possible.

And these are actually positive energy, not necessary negative. These feelings evoke humanly touch. Remember those days where she did not feel alive at all and that this world is so filled with reality that hurts. Those were the hard times. Feeling of emptiness isn't the best feeling in the world. And well, maybe it was those times, that taught you how happiness feels like. Maybe it was those times, that taught you to be stronger than you thought you could. Those days makes you appreciate what bliss feels like and how hard it is to come by.

There's always two sides to a coin. With every bad thing that happens, think about it. You cry, you yell, you curse. Yes. Down the road, it might not be that bad afterall. And you will start thanking the awful, painful past.

Iftar Dinner 2008

2008-09-21T17:58:00.004+08:00

Alright we got drag to the dinner by my boss and he cleverly left for Singapore. Was thinking to drop the idea of going there as me and nee worked til the morning on the same evening that we are suppose to go for the dinner. But luckily we went and there's green packet with quite a good amount of cash in there. The portion is enough for 1 week of household food consumption. Ha..alright so here's some photos!

Saturday here.

2008-09-13T14:26:00.006+08:00

Working on Saturday. As Friday is the "weekend" here. Still have not gotten used to having Friday as the "weekend". It kinda make me feel so disorientated. Especially when you need to connect yourself back to Singapore. Trying to count the hours in Singapore is bad enough, though I'm getting better at it. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. And not trying to oriented yourself with Singapore in the sense of working days...hmm..

Was doing nothing yesterday on Friday. Was lying in bed and as what Kenneth says, "sardine in the sun", and chatting. Well been a long time since I completely did nothing. No internet. If you have not realise how internet keep us entertained..wohoo. We a TV which was as good as not having because there's only 3 arabic channel and we can't be bothered to set it up as we'll be moving soon. And I brought my ipod charger but no ipod. If I can be alittle more careful. How stupid.

So besides shopping til 1am in Mall of Emirates(MOE) which we have been doing for the past 2 "weekends"-Thursday Night..and yes, over here, shopping centre opens til late 12am or 1 am every weekend. Manz, Singapore should make life easier for us.Trying to remember when cab surcharge is hard enough and the different rate of ERP at different time of the day. You still have to try to remember when and which malls open late on which night. Anyway..Drivers will love it here. Once you pass through 1 "ERP" here, which they call it SALIK, those that you pass down the same road, you don't have to pay anymore.

Next post I shall comment on Camel racing here.

Updating some pics up!

Lily,Lesha,Jane,Xueni,Ivan,Kenneth,Derrick,Syafiq,Aileen,Alan

More from London Trip

2008-09-11T02:39:00.004+08:00

Dubai 1st Week

2008-09-10T22:52:00.006+08:00

Well in the office now doing work and blogging as she do not have internet in our temporary apartment. And Syafiq went back home yesterday. And there's supposingly they said Earthquake. She didn't felt it. Maybe we were all rushing for a meeting at 3pm but perhaps due to her cursing and swearing..the earthquake happened at 3pm. Ha so we were like running down 10 storey laughing. Not sure why but Nee and Derrick did not hear correctly or thought I was joking when Jane told us to pack up because there's an earthquake.

Ha anyway posting some new photos here. To let you guys know I'm alive and there nothing that happened. And weird enough, it seems like only people from our building ran out of the building. None ran out from the other buildings. Pray hard dude its not some..you know..

And thanks S for that little gift. Know this girl here doesn't really have anything much to display on her bed. Very heartless girl. That gift from a creative fellow is indeed different. Only we knew what it meant. No pictures, no fancy decoration. Just a shared language. Never received something that actually have made her tear. But well. Be happy we've got tons of time together(with understanding people around too).

Yeah and she's doing fine. Xueni's my room mate. Kenneth and Derrick are the guys in the house. Well we cook lunch and amazing Aileen actually accidentally created a nice dish. Ha so proud of herself. And S was still smiling when I cooked a meal. Ha. Alrite world. Back to work!

London

2008-08-31T12:17:00.011+08:00

Gonna let pictures do the talking. Very nice trip to remember. Nothing that fantastically fun, but it just felt different. Worth the money though we really tried saving alot. But guess its just about being with the right person that makes everywhere seems perfect, every up and down eventually not that bad afterall :)

Will upload more when there's more time.

Dubai

2008-08-04T02:56:00.004+08:00

Heading for Dubai tommorow for a recce trip and will be back on Friday morning.

Everything happen so fast today and she's only informed 24hr before she is due to fly.

The collaboration with another design firm is on so..yeah

On one hand she is considering her job prospect, while on another she wanna give it another try. Dubai sounds good opportunity to come, especially she is still considerably young. School will come. One day. And when that day come, she really hope her time spent in Dubai working, is worthy enough to be in the portfolio, featuring design intention and concepts.

She is trying hard to digest the work aspect of things, while trying to balance out her feelings.

She hopes her colleagues will follow too. They are all young and she hope they give Dubai a chance, and give themselves a chance to see this part of the world where 25% of cranes are in right now.

She, on another hand is very thankful and touched to all those close one who supported her and tell her to go for it unselfishly, and family being happy for her. She's starting to miss her friends and wonder how is life when each of them are so far away. Well being away for 3-4 months might not be a long time, given that Shanghai was crazily fun. Anyway she will be station back in Singapore once in awhile.

She, on another hand hope life will be better in Dubai. Not material wise, not lesser workload. But being well and motivated mentally, doing what she think design should always be. That will be the biggest hope that she wish it can be fulfil. So that she can be truly happy and time will unknowingly pass faster.

She is happy someone is saying things she ever wished someone said to her sincerely. Never know how it could happen but it does happen. Learning how to deal with ego issues, and yet every word encourages her. Awww..Today make her realise that what deem perhaps not so much to her, might have actually unknowingly mean alot to her.

Counting

2008-07-31T15:48:00.002+08:00

17days and counting down.. every midnight at 12am she is a happy girl. Its one day down to freedom. hopefully.

She wonder

2008-07-29T17:17:00.002+08:00

She hasn't been out of the complaining mood for a long time. She isn't sure why she doesn't seem to be as enthusiastic about her work.

Reason being that she's been working too long? Taking too long for a break? Or just can't wait to get away on a little holiday?

Somedays it seems she feels like wanting a change of job. Somedays she wished that she doesn't have to face the fact and accept the fact sadly that she needs to work on both weekend. She does hate it sometimes. She just accepted the fact, knowing she doesn't have a choice. On the other hand, she might have the choice, just by working extra faster on weekdays. Yet she can't bring herself to do so, and she dreads it somedays. Argh. Somebody tell her why all these is messing up.

Simple things she wish for, she feels so sad to think that they all can't be done. Going out a whole day in Orchard, catching movie and just walking around without rushing is so hard some days. Just so hard, yet what she wants is simple. Very simple.

7 Secrets to Happiness

2008-07-28T21:52:00.001+08:00

So if such abundance doesn’t make us happy, then what does flip our bliss switch? Is it adopting the lifestyle before we had so many life options? Not entirely. Our parents grew up with fewer choices to make, but assuming their life goals isn’t the answer, because the world isn’t the same place today. The key is actually a mix of things, some timeless and some that relate to this generation. Here, the essential elements.

1. You Need a Solid Core Group of Friends
Look at Carrie from Sex and the City. Through everything from Post-it Note breakups to snapped stilettos, she is generally one happy camper. Why? She has her posse. “Friendship is one of life’s main joys,” says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People. “Spending time with people who really know you affords you the freedom to be yourself, which increases contentment.”

2. You Gotta Have Adventures
Now, we’re not suggesting that you totally hurl caution to the wind, but don’t get hung up on always staying on the straight and narrow. “People assume that doing the right thing leads to happiness, but actually taking risks does,” says Seaward. For you, that might entail going off on a three-day weekend with a new guy or just wearing that extraslinky minidress.

3. It’s Time to Toss Excess Stuff
If you can barely scrape together enough change to spring for that $4 latte, you’ll love this: Money (and all the crap that you can buy with it) won’t bring you happiness. In fact, when wealthy Americans were surveyed, they reported being only marginally happier than the general public. “When you have limitless funds, you tend to be hellbent on accumulating more,” says New York clinical psychiatrist Janet Taylor. “In the process, you lose the ability to appreciate what you do own and have difficulty feeling fulfilled.”

4. A Balance of Busy and Dead Time Is Key
Always zipping around in spaz mode without a second to spare for even a pee break is bound to take a toll on your mood. But so is idling the day away on the couch. “Overextending yourself induces stress, yet it also makes you feel productive, like you’re contributing something, which is very important to happiness,” says Niven. “Similarly, inactivity breeds boredom, which inspires feelings of uselessness and discontent, but lulls are vital.” Essentially, all go-go-go will wipe you out, as will a solid diet of nada, but a mix of both? Bingo!
Okay, so how do you strike the perfect balance? Fill your days with stuff you love (your Tuesday-night step class) and stuff you have to do (balancing your checkbook). Just keep in mind that at the end of the day, you want to feel like “you’ve accomplished something but that you’ve also relaxed,” says Niven. Of course, the toughest part for most of us is learning to let go

5. It’s Crucial to Give in to Temptation
You log overtime at work, hit the gym religiously, stick to a low-fat, no-fun diet, and even remember birthdays. Or maybe you aren’t quite so type A. But you still get to work on time, kiss your boss’s ass when you’d rather kick it, and play nice to your folks. Face it, making it in this world takes some serious discipline, regardless of your personality profile. “The pressure to keep up is so exhausting that it would seem like the payoff for showing such restraint would be great,” says Seaward. “But if you don’t stop to savor something pleasurable, you’re going to wind up miserable.”

6. Liking Yourself Is Nonnegotiable
Since you’re human, you have no doubt had one of those “Omigod! I can’t believe I said that” moments, followed by a “Stupid, stupid, stupid” fist to the forehead. Like, say, the time you introduced your guy to Bob the CEO at the office barbecue, only Bob’s name is actually Bill. Then you spent the rest of the night harping on what an idiot you are. “We tend to beat ourselves up, but it’s necessary to let ourselves off the hook,” says Ed Diener, PhD, professor of psychology and leading happiness researcher at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. “Inevitably, you’re going to make mistakes, and yet you still have to like yourself.”

7. You Must Stop Mentally Browsing
We know you’ve been here: You’re sitting at a restaurant, menu in hand, when the deliberation begins: Chicken or fish? Chicken or fish? After angsting for 20 minutes, you go with the fish... and then sit there until the meal comes, wondering if you should’ve gone with the chicken. Okay, maybe this is a very mild version, but in life, we do this on a larger scale all the time. “We convince ourselves that there must be something better out there, but ‘mental browsing’ is a recipe for dissatisfaction,” says Schwartz. “You’re wasting time and energy on doubting a good move just because there was another option, or 10, that you didn’t choose. You’ll never be happy if you live like this.”
The solution? Whenever a decision is in doubt — like whether your current guy is The One — pick two characteristics that are important to you (in this case, maybe it’s a sense of humor and a close-knit family). Once your criteria are established, ask yourself if they’re being met. If so, forget other options and move on. You’ll know if another option is better for you because it’ll nag at you. So relax, you’ve made the right choice...or at least one that’s going to make you happy.

Complain and complain

2008-07-28T14:49:00.002+08:00

Meanwhile while she can't stop complaining how spaces doesnt have to be filled up and spaces should at times be left empty because space allows for some breather, she can't wait.. simply can't wait.

So as she complains of late nights, of leg aching, of being frustrated with conceptlesss work and where to move on from conceptless work and the once awhile, "If Mak is..." Ya maybe if Mak is still here.

Somedays she feel that she should stop complaining and do something about it. So 1-either change the situation, or 2-change the way people should think. Some days actually she feels like going elsewhere as in a change of environment. However given what seems promising ahead for her but at the same time she's worried that with those rich Arabs, she might just be doing again - conceptless work. Maybe there's nothing wrong with borrowing idea iterally, but there should be some explanation to why the idea was borrowed. Nice alone, is not sufficient as an excuse or explanation.

Argh. If only...If only..she doesn't know what to do. Maybe its a lesson afterall. If there's something worth learning from this, it is to be powered by concepts, or at least some design intension.

Then again, give her the time!!!

Forgive her little excitement

2008-07-21T16:19:00.003+08:00

Forgive her little excitement. Her little countdown. She just can't seem to wait. It's like a little dream coming true. It feels like WAHOOOO. Unable to describe. Feels like its those days she can't stop smiling literally when that day comes. Opps better not say anything too soon. ha

After the long long wait.. She knows she's gonna be broke. But somehow she just got to hope that some experiences are what money can't buy..

Just wait..very soon.

Funny sometimes..

2008-07-15T14:35:00.002+08:00

Its fuuny when all the things she used to do for someone else and gone unfulfilled.

Remember the times she used to think alot for someone elses but it seems like it doesn't matter what she does. When she does it without wanting anything in return. She knows it might not even matter to someone else but she still does it when everyone is against it. Remember the times when she wished someone else understands why she loose her temper. And that she is trying very hard to control her behaviour because she is taught to control it and think of it in another light and maybe everything hard is not that bad too. And all those things she have not regretted doing for someone else though it may seem silly and unappreciated.

Karma might actually exist. What goes round might come around.

And finally it seems her little holiday to escape the everyday work and responsibilities,literally, might be working out. And might be a alittle more than the distance of Bangkok. She hopes it comes true. She fear that little devil in her waking up and telling her that she no longer enjoy her work and that little angel telling her that she is tired of everyday work. Till past midnite.

Greetings from Dong Guan

2008-07-02T19:27:00.002+08:00

First it started of with her waking up at 6.35am and realising she should be at the airport by then. Frantically she rushed to the bathroom and thank god she kinda have packed everything the night before her flight. And that was the fastest shower she took and ccalled for the cab to fly her to T3. Lucky Syafiq's educational trip To T3 have taught her how the hell T3 looks like if not she would have been so farking confused. So thanks for the educational trip and thank herself for thinking that trip to T3 might be a new experience to try.

And this Dong Guan is boring. There is no shopping centre and nowhere she could spend her money on except the daily Starbucks(which is paid by boss and client)..And she is thinking to get Anna Sui Perfume on the way back home since the Krisworld magazine tempted her while she was on flight the other day.

Ok shall get going to bath and...hopefully soak up in the bathtub though the rainshower in the bathroom fascinates her. And the big big bed is such a nice bed. Yes. Kick and Roll and take the blanket and take the pillow as much as she likes. Freedom.

Fucked up days

2008-06-24T20:57:00.003+08:00

Lesson learnt:
1. Double triple check drawings - Building Line can screw you up big time when you found out that all along you've been working on a bigger plan until the day just before tender.
2. Some things are what money cannot buy - Give me some variety. Right now I need to wait til everything fall into place but I don't wish to be doing uninteresting "in-house design" for banks. My brain need some variety of food - creativity juices are waiting eargerly to be tapped on. Give me what I like to do or what I am suppose to be for. Rendering, Sketches..Basically use my fingers and pencil and just get into that brainstorming mood.

But meantime. She kinda found comfort knowing that someone understands how she feels.

A'Beckett Tower

2008-06-16T18:27:00.006+08:00

"A’Beckett TowerThe A’Beckett Tower proposal will provide high quality residential apartment accommodation situated within the academic precinct of Melbourne CBD. The apartments will address the needs of professionals/academics with a desire to live and work in the city; while complimenting the level of eccentric design in this area of the city. The autumnal screen façade addressing A’Beckett street acts primarily as a shading and privacy device to the apartments; however it also maintains a level of articulation which the precinct demands."

- Elenburg Fraser Architects. http://www.e-f.com.au/projects_default.asp?projectId=72

Dad bought an apartment in Melbourne, apparently for investments later on, and hopefully her daughter gets a place for school there so that she can get a chance to stay in a almost studio like apartment. And thankfully, they've gotten the unit with window in both rooms, as there are some units without window in the second bedroom. Living without window is depressing cause there's no separation or the slightest indication of day and night.

And upon looking at those pictures of the apartment facade, it suddenly struck her mind - Folding Architecture, and that little folding thing Syafiq did.

Nothing Much

2008-06-14T15:07:00.004+08:00

Went swimming today. Oh my. She can't even remember the last time she went. Crowded like a thousand fish swimming and you know how irritating it is to keep swimming sideway to divert your direction.

Just some pictures on ChunYee's last day.

Jason Mraz- Life is Wonderful

2008-06-08T06:04:00.003+08:00

Was reading through her old blog and found this song's lyric

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a storey
It takes an egg to make a henIt takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying
It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
And it takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la laIt takes a night to make it dawn

And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other
And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la laIt is so...

It takes some silence to make sound
And it takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

What happened in Vegas

2008-06-08T05:17:00.004+08:00

Just got home from a midnight movie. What happened in Vegas was hilarious and awesome. Love how spontaneous Cameron Diaz and Aston was. Aileen loves movies that are spontaneous, no pretence, no fuss, no big weepy moments movies. Movies that makes you realise something gradually are awesome.

Nice movies coming up. Can't remember the title of one of them..and another is a Sci-fi movie, something like I am Legend.

Well tomorrow's gonna head to the airport for lunch since it might rain tomorrow and Sentosa idea might just fail.

Weekend like this has been non-existance for a long long time.

Goodnight Folks!

Design Torque- Keith Speaks

2008-06-05T00:12:00.004+08:00

Topic 1: The Limit of Possibilities
Speaker: Keith Tan

About: Promoting Nexus Creative Group and understanding the services his 3 men company provides. He said 3 men as in "Me,myself and I.-3 person" Same time, about the limit of possibilities in Design.

Keywords: I understood finally what he meant by
1. You can challenge convention, but not defy logic.
2. Creativity = Imagination + Common Sense

Have gotten back that feeling of being a student again. And was fun attending it because it evokes that sense of nolstelgia in her. Keith Tan was still Keith Tan. Was indeed fruitful and nice to have someone to tell you once in awhile you need to slow down and think.

Topic 2: Speak with substance
Speaker: Secret

About:
How unintelligent, nothing-else-better-to-comment-about comment can spoil your day.

Keywords:
1. Don't judge others when others with some not so smart comments when you should be more substantial in your conversation.

My Thought: Look. Nevermind if you don't ask me questions like: "How are you after so long?" And when I'm god damn fine about how I look, please, if you have nothing to comment or ask about me, keep your whatever physical comments about me that you have to yourself. And com'on. I'm so fine you can condemn my everything down to the colour of my fingernail. But life is just more than how every god damn shit in me look like. I'm fine. I'm not even complaining about how I look like. So grow up. Learn to speak with more substance.

Life is more than just physical development of a being. It is also about that development up there in your mind.

If a career of a beauty specialist and fashionista suits you better, switch line. But before that, understand that everyone is different in their own way. People have the type of style that they can carry and you can't. People can choose. So don't super impose something on them that looks nice on you and think that it is the fucking best way one should be following. Accept the fact-Everyone is different.

Blood,Sweat,Joy

2008-06-04T01:51:00.010+08:00

Fun Office Shots. Pictures shall talk for themselves.

Commitment phobia

2008-05-23T08:58:00.002+08:00

She always jokes about having commitment phobia. But somehow, she does feel so..

"Being scared of getting noticed, because the other person might want to start a relationship. In fact, they'll often reject other people from the word go, so that a relationship barely gets off the starting blocks. The feeling behind this, can be to protect themselves from even the prospect of allowing others' to get too close."

God knows what happen to her. She doesn't like the fact too that she fears of it. It just felt weird.

Finally Home

2008-05-19T03:26:00.004+08:00

She came home on Sunday morning, after working through Saturday til Sunday and after breakfast with Fiq. Decided to eat so that when she touched back home, she doesn't have to go to bed with a hungry stomach.

Decided to go for a haircut first and..well grandma called and she happened to pick up the call. Suddenly, her usual :"Tell me when you are coming back so that I can cook something for you", sounded different. Like..kinda different..like..someone knows this girl here is not having enough time for her body to rest. Well, but being who she is, she rarely shows that she is touched.

These 3 weeks of mental and physical torture at work seems to come to a little breather. And she kinda misses home though she's still in Singapore. Weird cuz she rarely misses home.

Home at 12am

2008-05-16T00:30:00.002+08:00

Yes she's home early today after almost 2.5 weeks of mental and physical torture. Though its nots over yet, she hope that time will allow her for a slight breather. She shall post unglam photos up soon, perhaps tomorrow(those of puffy eyes, 2weeks of tender process, unkempt hair).

She's somehow glad that she's sitting to someone who would be a motivator to her. Telling her not to sleep and read a book instead while waiting for rendering, to telling her to take a nap first cuz she needs some rest. And its challenging and she loves every moment of those heathy motivation. Nice to have someone to laugh at her funny stupidity at times. And just very thankful that I've gotten to know such a friend. :)

Tau Huay Conversation

2008-05-12T00:19:00.002+08:00

The Tauhuay Conversation at 12.19am Monday morning in office while eating tauhuay

Alan: Tauhuay from Sembawang arh?
Merv: No, Tauhuay from Cafe del Mar
Fiq: Imagine at bar area and you say 1 Tuahuay please
Merv: Cool Bartender. Cool Us. and a tauhauy. Tauhauy on the rock or Long island tauhuay
Fiq: Pay with card ah.
Alan: Drink with straw.

Damn crap

Peaceful day

2008-05-07T18:46:00.002+08:00

Thank god somehow there isn't too many phone calls or emails. She is glad its been fine.

Office is kinda scary, with everyone seating around her passing the flu virus and she's so prone to it. Thank god she's still surviving. And yes. Tomorrow morning she'll be so happy that someone's gonna brighten her days. Yes yes.. good looking supplier. Ha!

Anyway, thank god that feeling hasn't really come to her. It didn't slap her in the face that she felt so at lost. Maybe due to the heavy workload, she did not realise how much difference it is now in the office and how it was previously.

OK, back to work! Tons of stuff to do but somehow she's taking it easy today.

Desparate

2008-05-05T15:34:00.002+08:00

She is fucking desparate already. Super!

Boss said ok hotel tender hold on for a week. Submit next week. But that not the end of the good news. Bad news accompanied along. Since Hotel A is held back now, do Hotel B tender! Shit. God cares if Hotel B just need minor changes. It is still fucking work. And still, there's the bank project that needs her immediate attention!

Give me a fucking boring cruise. I don't care. She wants to be out of touch from the world!!
Bintan can't make it. Shit
Bangkok can't make it also.

She's so fucking screwed up!

The moment she felt that comfort.

2008-05-04T23:19:00.004+08:00

She was tired from a week of working like an elf. She was fast asleep this morning when her dad left for Hongkong for a business trip. And she wasn't even aware of it til she saw him in his luggage today. That struck her. She manage to sleep 9 hrs finally.

Her's her schedule for the past 1 week:
- Working hours starting Tues 9 am : Continuous 20 hr + 2 hr of sleep from (5am-7am in office) + went home for a bath
- Working hours starting Wed 10am: Continuous 14hr + 7 hr of sleep (at home)
-Working hour starting Thur 11am on Labour Day: Continuous 16 hr + 2.5 hr of sleep (at home)
- Working starting Fri 10am: 12 hr + 7 hr of sleep
-Working on Sat : 10hr
-Working on Sun : 9hr

Yes she is wokring tomorrow too.

Maddness. She needs a break. And Bernard message her if she wants to attend his birthday at Bintan. Sound good but buddy Terence is having his 21st on Sat too..So Bintan might be gone again.

But what bought comfort to her is knowing that somehow somebody out there recognise her effort. She might be getting somewhere afterall. She might have worked hard and she did not think too much about anything. But guess its been fruitful. She is humble after knowing it and happy. People wants her to work for them. She thinks so. She is not looking for a big ambition. She is happy working as a supporting crew. A good one. And knowing this, she is truly motivated and will put in more effort. She is taking her little step out of her comfort zone. She feels she is making a difference for herself. She feels alot more stronger. She will one day.

Somedays she's angry at clients who never seem to understand we don't have an elf working in the middle of the night for us when we are sleeping. Somedays she feels she's so screwed up. She felt so fucked up some days that every single thing is fcuked up. But guess, somehow, she's feeling that passion lighting up slowly again. She hate her job, but she love her job. Hate and love. What an irony. But think she might have begin to fall into a deeper love for her job, despite the anger and frustration moments.

And she is toying the idea of furthering her knowledge or rather education.

He's cool

2008-05-01T12:37:00.002+08:00

Terence! She loves your blog. And she realise how photogenic he is. She wants those cool photos for herself too

She needs some

2008-05-01T12:08:00.002+08:00

Hugs. She's been craving for alittle hugs these days.
Somehow she felt that tint of vulnerablity.
Somedays she felt like tears are tugged behind her tired eyes.

Life's been okay. Roller coaster was just when work is concern, not personal life. But yet, that lonely feeling seems to be creeping in once in awhile. She hates that. She's been through so much of it that she've done a good job in keeping it away.

But some days, this little demon in her likes to creep into her mind. She's trying to stop it.

Being alone can be pleasant, but being alone and feeling lonely is scary.

Just silently hold her hands and silently communicate to her. She needs comfort.

Is there any elf in the sweatshop

2008-04-29T09:32:00.002+08:00

Some people assume we have elves in a sweatshop tucked in some hidden corrner in the office that does work on weekends. She's not pissed about doing work on Sunday or weekend per say. What she's pissed off is when people take her response for granted. Doesnt mean that everytime she produce what you want in some speedy moments means her office only survives with his one job. She have other tender to rush and frankly speaking, after seating on it for a week, he email her on a saturday afternoon and expect stuff to be done on the coming Monday. Helllo?!! There's no elf here and even if she emails you everytime on a weekend doesn't mean she works every god damn weekend just to do his work. And she's pissed because he freaking knows time is running out but she's not sure why is he so indecisive. After beyond countless times and he is still changing. I certainly don't think that it was all my fault because I just did 2 times before it was approved by another guy of the same job. Come'on.. And freak. Don't step on her tail cuz she's gonna be cursing til he gets a flu. And don't ever ever take her for granted. She's willingly to listen and obey but know your limit!!

And yes, remember we don't belong to some business sector that has 5000 people working in the same building. we are pathetically small as compared. perhaps your company have more cleaner aunties than our office total headcount.

The contradicting girl.

2008-04-26T20:55:00.002+08:00

For most times, she's perfectly fine having that no special someone. She couldn't commit she thinks so... And she don't really give chances for anything heartbreak in the future. And moreover life's been as fun. And seeing couples no longer bothers her.

However somedays she just wished it was different. When was the last time she really love someone like he really matters? When was the last time she actually have someone to hold her hand in the bus? When was the last time she knows she could cry her saddness onto someone's shoulder? When was the last time she hugs someone and felt that he too cares?

Somedays she felt tired of going out with different guys every week. Needless to mention she did not feel for anyone of them. She wasn't looking for anything special with them either. Her girl friends are occupied on the days she is free, with their other half. She couldn't remember when was the last time she actually went out on a all girls outing trip. She is not blaming anyone. She didn't want to face those problems the girls faces too.

But yes. Deep down she wishes that that special someone can
- efffortlessly make your worse day not that bad afterall
- sense her feeling once in awhile
- make her feel that everyday felt like it was the first day she met him
- make her release the child in her once in awhile and still smile when she is being kiddish

She wants a special someone who can be her soulmate so that she could escape on a holiday with, have fun, have laughter, and allows her to cry when she is upset and totally understand why she is crying.

Somedays it just happen..

2008-04-26T16:34:00.002+08:00

I still fear the feeling. I know myself so well. It always happens.

She doesn't know what is fear only after the situation is slap across her face. In her eyes when she see the change. She might know it for a long long time and have accepted the fact. However, its those roller coaster mood always. She fears, and then tell herself to accept the fact and look on the bright side and take some positive actions, think she can accept it, think she has already accept it, then when the day the actual things happens, the fear rushes in again.

She dislike changes. She love changes to routine. But she dislike changes in human connection. Most of the time, she doesn't do anything to rescue anything for she believe that what is meant to be is meant to be. Friends who will be friends, will be friends afterall. Yet, deep down sometimes, she wishes that despite the distances, people remember each other even after a long long while.

Hopefully the roller coaster reaches the stage where she has accept it and she is positive.

Farewell dinner snaps

2008-04-26T15:55:00.007+08:00

Snaps of yesterday's fun

MERV KHAI HUIYING ME SYAFIQ

Photoshooting..And drinks session..

She believes that good things always comes to an end. However, she believes that she will realise something else when one door closes. She is learning slowly..to step out of her own comfort zone.

Farewell Dinner

2008-04-26T15:14:00.004+08:00

I'm typing away in hope to get rid of the hangover feeling so that I can seriously start working. Been in the office since 2 and the work done is so minimal.

Yesterday, around evening time, someone suggested to have a photoshoot for the company. And we stopped work and got together, same time testing out the new gadget they bought that allows instant view of your photographs on the laptop screen.

Was hilarious when we all felt like we were furnitures being moved by Mak. Those super precise position and guys were standing on phone directories and sample carpet files. And it was so freaking hard for me to stay still. After 10 sec on timer, unknowingly I will sway. Took damn long and when nightfalls, all our desk lamps transform into lighting for the photoshoot.

Well in the end we went to have indonesian food at Clark Quay and booze at Fashion Bar as usual and MOS. Was fun having a bigger group of people definately..

Tomorrow

2008-04-24T20:56:00.002+08:00

Dinner tomorrow...Hmm..Oh yeas my procrastination is creeping in and since I'll be home late tonight. I just hope I will not fall asleep writing it.

Checklist:
-Camera
-Present

Counting Days

2008-04-22T23:43:00.001+08:00

As said. and praying for the best, if not better. Not sure how but I guess I've just got to do it anyway.
Hope work gonna be fine as it goes along.

Syafiq says

2008-04-22T23:35:00.001+08:00

"Its better to regret trying than regret not trying at all"

The line that sums up part of my life

May Happenings

2008-04-21T21:49:00.002+08:00

May in a normal year should NOT look so happening like this:

Leaving for somewhere else:
Mak - to WOW 30 Apr
Interns - Back to school May 17
Mervyn - To serve the govt May 17
KK - to somewhere happier than his current job

Coming in:
Angela (Senior designer)
ChunYee(fellow designer)

Birthday:
Yilong 5 May
Albert 9 May 21st birthday
Terence 10 May 21st birthday
Gina's Baby End of May 1st birthday

Gosh..This is way too much for me to handle the up and the downs.And its gonna burn my extra cash

Cool

2008-04-20T19:20:00.002+08:00

Nouvelle Vague designed by French designer Christophe Pillet for Porro Italia

I'm so proud of myself

2008-04-20T18:54:00.002+08:00

Finally she manage to understand and customize her blogspace. Being a complete idoit in almost anything more complex (the reason why I don't like facebook and prefer old school friendster) in terms of IT related, she's happy with her little acheivement.

Who cares if this is a small fry to those IT savvy people.

I think I'm too obsessive with this blog thingy. 5 post a day is crazy. Suppose to update my portfolio today but here I am, distracted by blogspot.

Moscow Night

2008-04-20T18:18:00.005+08:00

Was really giving it a serious thought as Mani-Pedi are consider a luxury to me. And thought how many more bottles of nail colours I could buy with a 20bucks. I thought-if market place's guardians have the nail colour I want, I'll skip the manicure.
And yes, I went for the manicure in the end. Colour-Dark Black Purple with a cool name: Moscow Night

Finally:
-No more air bubbles
-No more stupid markings from undried nails
-No more uneven coating
-And she's definately not afraid of anyone scrutinizing at her nails for now

But I do hope that I will not get addicted to this cuz it will cause a leakage in my pocket

Dining Options

2008-04-20T14:50:00.005+08:00

Guess OOSH seems nice enough for the farewell dinner. Ambeince seems cool enough to meet the expectations of a whole bunch of designers and architects. Hopefully Alan will agree to the price. Chef friend introduced me to either Oosh or Le Petit Salute at Dempsey.

http://www.oosh.com.sg/
Here are pictures from the webby

Found this other one called SUN that serves Japanese cuisine at Chjimes

http://www.sfbi.com.sg/sun/chijmes/chijmes_e.html

Da Paolo seems nice as well..

http://www.dapaolo.com.sg/bistro_rest.htm

Last but not least, it dawns upon me that our own Singapore Tourism page was not that bad. At least I get to check out all the restaurants location, ambience and whatevernots on that single website. Proves alot of help to this girl who lacks the knowledge, or rather money to visit these restaurants to determine if they are good or not.

OK..I admit til now its still Judging the restuarant by its cover. But then again, Uniquely Singapore is promoting them, so they should be of a certain standard.

yesterday's dinner

2008-04-20T11:05:00.002+08:00

Been long since we hang out together

Pilot Post

2008-04-20T10:31:00.000+08:00

Yes I'm starting a new fresh blog. My multiply blog will be greatly missed as it contains my past few years of ups and downs, growth and whatevernots bitching and whining.

Yes and perhaps as usual, I grew tired and bored of the old place. I'm constantly in search of new things. Perhaps the only thing that did not change for a long time in these years is "I for You"-Luna Sea ringtone.

Mak's leaving. Oh yes a reminder to myself, the card I'm suppose to write. Left it untouched as I bought his gift and card about 1 week after he broke the news to leave TOPOS. Just didnt want it to sound so emotional that 2 months later, it sounds stupid of me. It always happens.

Ok I'm off to the nail parlour to get my nails done before it gets jammed packed. Hopefully its not pack. And hopefully it makes my first visit a darn good one.